Wedding Wednesday {Engagement Party!}
Acceptance Of Mediocrity......................................
Does anyone even remember who won the World Series? I mean I do, but rest assured the 2012 MLB Champion San Francisco Giants will be the daunting answer to a stumper of a trivia question in the not too distant future. And with the Fall Classic officially a thing of the past, it’s time once again to turn to the hardwood for my much deserved and highly needed ooohs, and ahhhs. For those of you out there that are paying attention, you’re probably asking yourself a simple yet complicated question, didn’t Brad swear off the NBA last summer once and for all? It’s true I did. Ray Allen’s Benedict Arnold act hurt me so deep and in so many ways that I didn’t think I could ever sit through another game, let alone another season of professional basketball, and I use the term professional about as loosely as I possibly ever could. But if a metaphor is needed to explain why I’m back and enjoying this game of ours, I can give you one. Baseball is my one true love, of that there is no debate, but if baseball is my wife, well then basketball is my mistress. And I don’t think that requires any further elucidation. So now that we have that all cleared up, somewhat anyway, and with the season officially underway, what will the first hoops related post be about? The shit show that is the Lakers management and coaching situation? Nah. The boy band down in South Beach that make every sports enthusiast damn near sick to their stomach? Not this week. The “oops” that was the James Harden situation, and for the record I mean “oops” from both sides of the table? Again, no. How about we talk about the acceptance of mediocrity? Toronto sports fans know exactly what I mean when I say that, don’t we? On Raptors opening night this year I gave them 10 games to get off to a good start, and by good start I mean better than .500. They go at least 6-4 and I’ll pay attention and back them for the remainder of the season, regardless of what happens the rest of the way. Well, 6 games in that became mathematically impossible. So for the 2012-13 season I am not only NOT a Raptors fan, but I will take every available opportunity to rip them to shreds from my armchair GM spot, from my Manager in bed while watching the game spot, and especially my disgusted bile covered jersey wearing fan spot. So this week, let’s look at the inefficiency of General Manager Bryan Colangelo and a few of the roster errors he has made thus far in his quest to provide us with yet another lack luster underperforming men’s house league wanna-be NBA squad……..
I don’t even know where to start with this kid. Ok, first of all, are the Raptors really that desperate for a superstar that they continually attempt to make one via ridiculous contracts? 10 mil per year for Demar is stupid. There are no better adjectives to use here. And not “my girlfriend is irrational and not making sense right now, arguing over foolishness” stupid either. We are talking Forrest fucking Gump stupid. Dog shit stupid. “Throw up in my mouth at how fucking stupid this is” stupid. The non-skeptics and DeRozan supporters will say the Raptors paid up on potential and didn’t want to lose another star through free agency. Excuse me I just threw up again. What potential? And you’re calling him a star? Where I come from a basketball star garners respect, he intimidates you every time he gets the ball, and has the ability to blow any game wide open at any moment. The next time anyone says anything like that about Demar DeRozan will be the first time anyone says anything like that about Demar DeRozan. The Raptors should have sat him down and said, “Listen kid, here’s how this is going to work. You have until the All Star break to average at least 25 points per game. We want some boards and assists mixed in there too. You’re going to become not necessarily a lock down defender but a hard tough defender, and if you don’t shoot at least 10 free throws a night you’re on the bench. Do that, you’ll be paid handsomely. Failure to do that will result in you being shipped to the worst team not called the Raptors in this league for light bulbs and toilet paper”. He keeps up his end of the bargain pay him. He doesn’t, who cares. But no, they decided it was a good idea to give the most timid 2 guard in the league, who honestly hasn’t done shit to this point a massive contract that they will just be angry about in 2 years when they can’t dump him anywhere. There should have been a provision stating that for every jump shot he takes he loses $1,000, and every “And 1” he makes he gets $500. That would assuredly create some aggression in an otherwise unaggressive 2 guard, I would think. But too little too late for that. Get ready for another 5 years of pull up jump shots and complacent basketball from our beloved number 10. Who can blame him really? He got paid, that’s the point to hunger less talent isn’t it?
Andrea Bargnani and Jose Calderon
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but admiration for both these players, and I have advocated and supported them since the first time they threw on a Raps jersey, but there time has definitely come and gone, and the reality of it all is, there is a strong market out there for both of them. Are you going to get immediate returns in the form of rising stars or solid starting players? Probably not, and that’s not their fault and it’s not a bad thing either. What you are possibly going to get is draft picks, but you aren’t going to get them from the team you are directly dealing with. This is getting confusing. Ok look, Bargnani and Calderon are NOT superstars by any stretch of the imagination. Not even fucking close. What Calderon is, is an amazing, and I mean amazing, backup point guard. We know this because we see it every time he loses his starting job to our next point guard of the future (see T.J. Ford, Jarret Jack, Kyle Lowry). The Lakers for one would pounce at the opportunity to have one of the top free throw percentage shooters and turn over to assist ratio point guards back up Steve Nash. What Bargnani is, is more complicated. He could be used as a compliment backup power forward, maybe even a three, but it would have to be on a team where either defense isn’t a top priority, or a team that is big man heavy up front and an outside shooter big would really change the opposition’s game plan. Possibly the Spurs? Maybe even the Lakers? Hell, Clips Mavs and even the Thunder would be interested I bet. But since all these teams are contenders, you’re not going to get anyone of importance from them in a trade. And since they are contenders they aren’t going to get decent enough draft picks that we would need to part ways with our guys. So you would have to bring in third teams that would like the pieces these teams are willing to part with and that are not necessarily in contention themselves and would be willing to trade picks. Conceivably we could get two top ten draft picks next season for these two guys. Maybe even three. And as long as Colangelo doesn’t get to pick, that could be up to 60 percent of a new starting lineup in exchange for two guys, that again I have nothing but respect for, that have shown us they do not have what it takes to lead us anywhere in particular. Terence Ross and Jonas Valanciunas
These two guys are perfect examples of why Colangelo shouldn’t get to pick on draft night anymore. Jonas, in his defense is just in way over his head. He’s a puppy in with grown dogs. Bigger dogs. Meaner dogs. Dogs that probably had more aggressive competition on the court in their early teen years than Jonas had his entire career overseas. In order for him to grow into the talent he could very well become, he would have had to be drafted by a team with a solid evil big man present and given the opportunity to learn from him. Get toughened up in practice if you will. If he were playing behind a Kevin Garnett or a Kendrick Perkins, I have no doubt that chip on the shoulder those two guys have could have rubbed off on him a bit. Instead though he scrimmages against Ed Davis and Amir Johnson, and of course Bargnani, three guys that don’t exactly exude tough. And tough is what Valanciunas will have to become if he wants to compete in this league. Now Terence Ross, he’s a different story altogether. He’s no more than a poor man’s Mo Pete, except for the fact that we at least knew Peterson owned a jersey. If you’re drafted that high to a team that is doing nothing, you HAVE to average more than 9 and a half minutes a game. You have too. I can’t even tell you were his minutes are going, because outside of Lowry, Calderon and Demar, there aren’t really any other guards worth mentioning on this squad. You can’t score from the bench, not saying he would anyway to be honest, and if you aren’t scoring on a team going nowhere you eventually aren’t going to go anywhere yourself. Both these guys have been hindered drastically by being picked by the Raptors, but more so the Raptors have been hindered by picking both these guys. In our current position in the NBA pecking order you MUST draft the best player available. You must. Personally, and I don’t believe I’m alone in my thinking, there were way better, way more athletic, more gifted and almost NBA ready players available than both our “coveted” rookies were in the spots we had to pick from.
Demar DeRozanI don’t even know where to start with this kid. Ok, first of all, are the Raptors really that desperate for a superstar that they continually attempt to make one via ridiculous contracts? 10 mil per year for Demar is stupid. There are no better adjectives to use here. And not “my girlfriend is irrational and not making sense right now, arguing over foolishness” stupid either. We are talking Forrest fucking Gump stupid. Dog shit stupid. “Throw up in my mouth at how fucking stupid this is” stupid. The non-skeptics and DeRozan supporters will say the Raptors paid up on potential and didn’t want to lose another star through free agency. Excuse me I just threw up again. What potential? And you’re calling him a star? Where I come from a basketball star garners respect, he intimidates you every time he gets the ball, and has the ability to blow any game wide open at any moment. The next time anyone says anything like that about Demar DeRozan will be the first time anyone says anything like that about Demar DeRozan. The Raptors should have sat him down and said, “Listen kid, here’s how this is going to work. You have until the All Star break to average at least 25 points per game. We want some boards and assists mixed in there too. You’re going to become not necessarily a lock down defender but a hard tough defender, and if you don’t shoot at least 10 free throws a night you’re on the bench. Do that, you’ll be paid handsomely. Failure to do that will result in you being shipped to the worst team not called the Raptors in this league for light bulbs and toilet paper”. He keeps up his end of the bargain pay him. He doesn’t, who cares. But no, they decided it was a good idea to give the most timid 2 guard in the league, who honestly hasn’t done shit to this point a massive contract that they will just be angry about in 2 years when they can’t dump him anywhere. There should have been a provision stating that for every jump shot he takes he loses $1,000, and every “And 1” he makes he gets $500. That would assuredly create some aggression in an otherwise unaggressive 2 guard, I would think. But too little too late for that. Get ready for another 5 years of pull up jump shots and complacent basketball from our beloved number 10. Who can blame him really? He got paid, that’s the point to hunger less talent isn’t it?
There’s so much more to pick apart on this team that it isn’t even funny anymore, and rest assured I’ll take every chance I can get my chubby little fingers on to have a go at this worthlessness the suits pass off as a professional squad, but to be fair this is Toronto, right? A place where sports teams don’t have to be good in order to be followed and have their tickets sold. A place where below average is exceptional? A place where fans will flock to the arena and watch without a smell of playoff contention anywhere to be smelt? It’s our fault really because we accept it, and we spend our money on it without questioning anything. We go, we cheer, we lose, we shut up and we go home. That is until April of course. When my wife and one true love gets back in town, rebuilt and ready to kick some ass. November 18, and I’m already jonesing for baseball, where hopefully the acceptance of mediocrity, for at least 6 months anyway, becomes a thing of the past. God I miss her. But anyway, I’ll catch you all in a few weeks. Till then, hang in there……………………………….
Be In Love...
You Pay My Salary? You Know The Hashtag............
I’m going to call the split 65-35 and trust me that was a hard number to come up with. I originally was in the 75-25 area, but I wanted to be accurate with this one, I really did. So I settled on 65-35. The more I think about it though, the more I want to change it. It’s a tough one indeed. I don’t know really, and I’m not entirely comfortable with that average, but since I’m up against a deadline here and need to post something, fuck it, 65-35. The ratio in question? Tolerable versus intolerable passengers that I deal with on a daily basis at work. 65 percent are tolerable, 35 percent just are not. And an important point to make clear here is this, of that 65 percent that are, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are all good. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Tolerable; (adjective) Not too unpleasant or severe to put up with. Fairly good. Not bad. Manageable.
I’m not going to break that 65 percent down any further and say X amount are actually great. And Y amount are just complacent and unnoticeable, because that’s not fair to either group. There are a lot of passengers that are actually prodigious people. Some say hi, get to know me, even bring me things like coffee or muffins. Some believe it or not, actually care. They rule. Some just get on, acknowledge me and go sit down and don’t draw any attention to themselves. They could be happy, they could be miserable, you wouldn’t be able to tell either way. Those are the people, in my mind anyway that make the world go round. But then you have the other 35 percent, and that’s who we’ve gathered here today to discuss.Now before we go on, I want to make one point abundantly clear. I know the TTC as a company is a mess. Hell, I work for them and I don’t have any clue what’s going on a good majority of the time, and that frustrates the hell out of a control freak like me. They back track and they change their songs almost daily. No one really seems to know if they are coming or going, and the worst part about it is that every other day it seems there’s a new plan coming down the pipeline that will improve our outdated and archaic system, only to have another new plan presented to everyone a week and a half later that supersedes the previous new plan. Tiresome at best. So with that said, when you get on and have a legitimate beef, although I won’t be able to clear anything up for you or give you reasonable rationale for whatever it is that’s got you peeved, I will no doubt listen and agree, and probably make a pretty decent joke out of the situation for you. That however is all I can honestly do, because the problems you and I both hate are about 7 levels above my pay grade. And it must be noted as well, that listening and agreeing will only be done if your tactics of bringing said situations to my attention are done with respect and class. Failure to do so will undoubtedly result in you becoming even more angered, I promise you that. But anyway, onto the douchebag self-entitled assholes, er; I mean the other 35 percent.
The first guy I want to talk about comes in all shapes and sizes. This is the guy the world could not do without. We are going to call him Mr. Important. Mr. Important does things like walk slowly to the bus, whether in the station or on the street, even when he sees the bus driver and all of his passengers are waiting patiently for him. It’s not his fault though because he really can’t run, or walk briskly for that matter, because Mr. Important is usually on the phone. That’s what important people spend their time doing you see. He will also do things like get on the bus and stand in the doorway taking forever to pay, even when there is a lineup of people behind him. Maybe that lineup of people are standing in the freezing cold or the snow or the rain, it doesn’t really matter, because Mr. Important moves at his speed and everyone else will just have to wait for him. It’s easy to identify Mr. Important if you aren’t sure who he may be. All you have to do is say something to him and you’ll know it’s him immediately. Mr. Important won’t acknowledge what you say, and doesn’t respect you enough to respond with any words, but what he will do is look at you with a glare that screams “Why are you talking to me, have you no idea who the fuck I am?” But if you’re still confused as to who this man is, just look for the red carpet and marching band that accompany him every minute of every day every single place he journeys to. If you see him, just wait patiently for the bus to reach the beer store or the government office, that’s where Mr. Important usually gets off, and then we can get moving again and get on with our day.Next up is Miss Late. Please understand that Miss Late has a little problem. Miss Late just can’t for the life of her get anywhere on time. You’ll see her halfway between stops, or on the other side of the street, or coming out of a corner store a block and a half away from the bus stop. She will usually be jumping up and down, or waving her hands, or my personal favorite, whistling. Whereas you’re kind of obligated to an extent to wait for Mr. Important, since he is at least within spitting distance of you, Miss Late on the other hand is often left to wait for the next bus. Par for the course right? Wrong. Here’s what Miss Late will often do; when the next bus does finally come along, Miss Late will for some unknown reason bitch and complain and cry to the driver of that bus about how the bus driver in front of him “blew right past her and didn’t even stop.” Miss Late tends to embellish. But it doesn’t end there my friends. Want to know why Miss Late is usually late? Well, it’s because Miss Late spends most of her time on the phone with the TTC’s complaint department whining her ass off to someone that gets paid to listen to shit like that, as if she really cares. Miss Late doesn’t understand the cardinal rule in life; “People wait for buses, buses don’t wait for people”, or maybe she does and that rule just doesn’t apply to her, I don’t know. What I do know is Miss Late is nothing more than a half a bottle of extra strength Tylenol a week habit. End of story.
Now, this next guy is my favorite guy. We are going to call him Jack Ass. Jack Ass has a problem with everything. Jack Ass, I don’t think anyway, has ever been happy a moment in his life. Jack Ass suffers from a rare disease called “I really should just kill myself”. Jack Ass bitches about everything from the weather to the crowdedness of the bus, as if either are the fault of the bus driver. Regardless of the situation Jack Ass has one argument and one argument only, “I PAY YOUR SALARY!” He’s like Rain Man with that shit, that’s all he says over and over again. Jack Ass can go fuck himself for a few reasons. I find it hard to believe that Jack Ass even pays taxes in the first place, seeing as though Jack Ass is practically always drunk, and usually smells like kangaroo shit. It’s hard to have a job with those two characteristics, and of course without a job you don’t pay taxes, you instead reap the benefits of others (including myself) paying taxes. Meaning, indirectly Jack Ass doesn’t pay my salary, I in fact pay his. But let’s assume Jack Ass does have a job, and does pay taxes, Jack Ass is ignorant. And here’s why. Jack Ass hasn’t picked up a newspaper since the early to mid 90’s apparently, because Jack Ass doesn’t realize that around that time most of the government funding got pulled from the TTC and placed in “more important” areas. IN FACT the TTC is only subsidized to the tune of 20 percent from tax dollars. If I make 30 dollars an hour, and the subsidy for us is 20 percent one would say, “Well in theory he does cover 6 of your dollars per hour”, wouldn’t one? Well that one is wrong. Because simply put, a bus driver isn’t the only thing that percentage covers is it? Everyone from the CEO down to Miss Important’s telephone friends there in the complaint’s department get covered by that 20 percent. How does one quantify exactly how much of his kick in the subsidy covers my share? One can NOT quantify is the answer. How about Jack Ass’s back up plan though, “I buy tokens” or “I paid for my MetroPass so you’re going to accommodate me however I deem fit “. We should really change his name from Jack Ass to Retarded at that point. Tokens, MetroPasses, Tickets, they all make up the other 80 percent of the TTC’s income, yes, but there’s a little thing called operating cost. Your MetroPass buys you a service, and that service is simply, A to B, nothing more. To think that I or any of my co-workers need to listen to your bullshit about anything because the price of a MetroPass is whatever it is (I don’t even know to be honest) is absurd. The reality is this; in this entire world, I answer to two people and two people alone, and the fact that you deposit a token in a fare box does NOT make you one of them. Not by any stretch of the imagination. You want me to listen? You want me to accommodate you? You better ask me real nicely buddy, because the last time I checked Jack Ass over there didn’t give birth to me and isn’t fucking me at night, which means he isn’t one of the two. So I’m neither obligated to listen nor answer, plain and simple. Any thinking to the contrary will be handled in the typical fashion that Jack Ass’s get handled and escalation is purely dependent upon Jack Ass’s level of boredom/stupidity. I wanted to tell you about a few other people, like Mr. I Just Refuse To Get My Shit Together, or Mrs. Stop The Bus Here Because I’m Too Lazy To Walk A Block And A Half, but unfortunately it’s getting late and I have to get to work soon. So to the Filipino factory workers, the thugs that give me pounds on the way off the bus, all the around the way girls that wink and smile at me (you have to stop that by the way, my girlfriends crazy and she WILL come for you), the skinny guy that works at the cable plant, the guy that always just says “proper”, the Costco ladies, and the Amica nurses, and anyone else that makes up the 65 percent, I’m on my way, I’ll see you all in a bit. And to the condescending piss poor morally, miserable with your life remaining 35 percent, you know the hashtag…………………………….. #FuckOuttaHere
I’ll see you all in a couple weeks guys, until then, hang in there………………………….A "Top Bun" For Long Haired Gals :)
Basically, you put your hair in a high pony, take sections of the pony and "rat" the strand of hair. After you have "ratted" your entire pony, you simply wrap the pony into a bun until you've achieved your desired look! Because of the volume of your ratted hair, the pony is really workable and holds into a bun extremely well. I only had to use a couple of bobby pins :)
This is now my go to bun style. I love it. It's super easy, fast, and a great casual top bun that you can wear every day :) I hope you long haired girls try this one out. I think you'll like it!
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