Vepsa's.... Seriously???

What the fuck is wrong with some people.  How could anyone in their right mind not only buy one of these things,   but actually get on one, and go out in public?  They are nothing more than a glorified bicycle.  No, check that, they’re worse.  Because at least the asshole I pull up behind on the bicycle will eventually get off the road and get out of the way, even if it does take a little “convincing”.  Nope, the Vespa, complete with its jerk off rider, will just putt along in front of you, barely doing 25, completely oblivious to the fact that he’s screwing up traffic for kilometers behind him.  It’s his right you know.  He’s green, he’s not relying on our limited supply of fossil fuels to get around town.  He’s doing us a favour.  We should thank him, and thank him repeatedly.  What a great guy.  I promise you this much, regardless of your burning desire to be environmentally friendly, or how much you care about our mother earth, that Vespa bullshit is only a good idea on paper.  You know what else was a good idea on paper?  Communism.  Ask the USSR how that worked out.  Nope, the moment you have somewhere to be, or heaven forbid a schedule to at least try to maintain, then that great idea on paper goes right out the window.  That’s when the horns start blaring, the voices get raised, and no one gives a damn about anything ozone related period.  And what is the response of our oh-so-“friendly” rider?  Well this great guy that is doing us all the mother of all favours sticks up his middle finger and tells us, who want nothing more than to travel at least the speed limit, to “go fuck ourselves.”  You know he spent anywhere between $2500 and $7500 for that damn thing.          Pause.         Now it all makes sense.  Anyone who can spend $7500 on something so fucking absurd, obviously has very little to worry about in their lives.  Why should they care about anyone else on the road? Anyone who would like to get from point A to point B in what, in all honesty, even at the speed limit, isn’t a reasonable time frame (but that’s another blog all together). He probably bought that stupid god damn thing just to impress his boyfriend, or piss off his father.  Yeah, you got that reference right.  You’re the last thing he cares about.  His lapdog in his purse is his best friend.  Not you. If the word “doucebag” ever gets into the dictionary, and don’t worry, I’ve started a petition already, then I sure hope the definition comes with a picture of swan dick on his shiny red, environmentally friendly, albeit inner city not, Vespa.  Fucking up traffic, on a very busy street, somewhere in a very busy city, with buses, cars trucks and everyone with anything to do stuck behind him, just waiting to be able to get passed him, to give him our dearest most sincere thanks!