Waves





I am so glad I took a moment to tilt my head upwards this morning and notice a perfect January sky.

Reminds me of "The Color Purple" by Alice Walker.

"...just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the colour purple in a field and don't notice it."

The morning sky was showing off it's purple. I was lucky to see it.



Lovin' Bloggin'

I am officially a blogger...and quite frankly, a little overwhelmed!


I'm super excited to be trying out my first hand at blogging! I hope that I can build up my blog to be everything I imagined, and that fellow bloggers out there find it useful and enjoy it as much as I do :) I'm VERY new to the whole thing so this whole blog is an experiment. I'm hoping to get a feel for the whole blog process, what I actually want to be blogging, and how to make it look the way I want it to and say the things I want it to! I want others to find an interest in my blog and find it useful and helpful! I am now a painfully busy college student, consumed with studying, work, and extra-curriculars that limit my creative juices! This blog is to get that creativity started, so that hopefully very soon, I can put a great blog out there for my family and friends and anyone else who is curious :)


 So....let me tell you a little bit about myself:


This is me!

Camping at Devils Lake!
My parents :)

In a nutshell:

I grew up in Northwestern Wisconsin in a small town called Altoona. I went to the local high school and was involved in everything from volleyball, basketball, track, choir, show choir, and student council. I loved growing up there, but was very eager to leave and start the next chapter in my life! I am now studying in New Ulm, MN at Martin Luther College. It is a WELS (Wisconsin Lutheran Synod) college that specifies in teaching young adults to become Pastors, Teachers, and Staff Ministers in the WELS Synod. I have wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember! I couldn't think of any better way than to study how to teach and share God's word with children. I am a sophomore, but plan on graduating a semester early in December of 2013!!! I play volleyball for MLC. I still have that competitive athlete in me and I couldn't imagine myself completely quitting sports when I got to college!
But besides all of this, there is one main things that you must know about me: God has and always will be number one in my life. I was dead in my sin, and he sent is son, Jesus, to take away every one of those imperfections to give me everlasting life. He not only helps me in this life, but leads me to everlasting paradise in the next! It's a pretty awesome thing! :)


New Years 2012
Picnic at Lake Michigan in Chicago!

Christmas tree in Chicago :)
I have fallen deeply in love with the man I know I want to someday spend the rest of my life with. Josh is studying to be a WELS Pastor and is in his first year at the Seminary in Mequon, WI. We met last year up in New Ulm at MLC; he was a senior and I a freshman. I never expected him to come into my life, but I have never been so happy about something so unexpected :)
I am an aspiring "do-it-yourselfer," cook, decorator, party planner, and anything and everything in between! I'd like to think that I was a bit of a pioneer in the Pinterest world ;) I started earlier this summer, and once I got back to school and told my friends about it, it spread like wildfire across my small campus in New Ulm, MN. One of my New Years resolutions was to actually do some of the things I pinned other than cool ways to paint my nails! I know I have a crafty side, and I REALLY want to bring that out!!

So this blog is just that, I hope it will turn into something that I can get my creative juices flowing, and inspire others to do the same! Until next time...


Love always,
Rachel







Live and Direct From.........Harvey's ?!?!?

Harvey’s makes your hamburger…… come on, you know the jingle…   but that’s not why I’m here.  At the beginning of January, I got a few coupons in the mail.  Now, I’m not a coupon guy “per say”, because clipping, carrying, and presenting isn’t exactly worth the 80 or 90 cents coupons save you, in my mind anyway.  I use coupons to remind me of which fast food place I haven’t visited recently.  Harvey’s coupons came, and so did I, and off I went.  In the last month, this will be my fourth visit.  Seem extreme?  Not so much really, because the genius’ that are the marketers at Harvey’s have once again created (or I suppose in this case, brought back) something awesome.  Ahh, yes, the return of “Frings”.  In case you don’t know, “Frings” are an order of both fries and onion rings in one, in their own little crafty two portioned box.  Seriously, its heaven.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve stood in line over the years trying to decide whether I wanted fries or onion rings.  There were some days that I would actually argue with myself while I was ordering, hell most of the time I would have preferred it if my head would just explode, rather than have to make up my mind.  One time, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, I even walked out because I was not in the mood to make such an important decision that day.  So I got me a Great Canadian Burger, Frings, and a Diet Pepsi, pulled out the laptop, and it’s remote blog time.  Why a remote blog you ask, when I’m caught up in the 2012 version of an East Coast West Coast blogging beef?  Simple, I’ve been bumping into a lot of people recently, who have been asking me about this or about that, all ends that I suppose I have left somewhat loose.  This blog is all about character development after all, so I will try and tie up a couple today.  Also, there was some interesting sporting news I wanted to discuss, and yes, don’t you worry, Mini-Me over there will be addressed as well.  I’m not quite sure what direction I’m going to go here, since we all know “remote blogs” are free styled, with zero research (seriously Harvey’s, I just paid $12 for this combo, get Wi-Fi), and little to no pre-determination, but that’s the fun part right?  Let’s hop to it…….

His Majesty
First on the agenda, I guess this Eli situation should be at least brought up.  So He thinks He’s cute does He?  Back dooring my blog like that.  For the record, I was under the impression we were talking about present day situations, not ancient history.  But if that’s the case, does He really think He’s the only one that’s been paying attention all these years?  He will get his, don’t you fret, but He will get it on my time, when I don’t have anything better to do, and today’s not that day.  Princess?  Diva?  Only child routine?  Ok, ok, the last one maybe, but princess? Diva?  You’re setting yourself up to get “JA Ruled” little buddy, plain and simple.  You of all people should know, my words are like weapons of mass destruction, and you should tread lightly, because you won’t be the first person I’ve destroyed in my tenure on this Earth, hell you won’t even be the first person I’ve destroyed this month.  For the record, since your little Oscar award winning performance last week, I’ve got 3 or 4 different offers to come and join up with hosts that will be a lot more appreciative of my skill set, and one of them even sent me a sample of what my coffee mugs will look like, and I can have as many as I want, in any colour(s) I want.  That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.  So you better get the ball rolling on BusDrivaTV, and soon, complete with theme music, THAT I GET TO PICK, and a video montage to start each episode off, or I’m jumping ship.  As for the rest of your “oh so cute, but not exactly accurate portrayal of me”, when I have nothing better to do then banter back and forth with individuals on a lesser level then I, then and only then, will I will banter back and forth with individuals on a lesser level then I.  Until then, sleep well my friend, but remember, Armageddon is coming.

The Dryer
On a sadder note.  More sad?  Whatever the case may be.  My roommate and I had to lay down to rest what can only be considered a great appliance.  The cost to repair the dryer was only marginally lower than the cost to replace the dryer.  Which is a shame too, because that little dryer was a soldier, and gave everything it could give for a very, very long time.  It will be missed, and so will the washing machine that unfortunately was collateral damage.  The new set got here last week, and it got here just in time.  Apparently I can’t go back to that little Landry mat I was going to, but I have no idea why.  Here’s what happened.  About three days before the new appliances got here, I was at the convenience store getting myself some lotto tickets, when Champ walked in.  You remember him, the guy that owns the Landry mat, with the somewhat attractive seamstress, mid to late 40’s wife, that I may or may have not been a little flirtatious with, and all he did was mean mug me and stretch whenever I was in there.  So anyway, I’m getting my lotto, and in he walks, but he doesn’t see me at first.  He’s smiling, and whistling, and grabbing some Cheeto’s, and then he proceeds to walk up to the cash register, where he spots me, and SNAP, his entire demeanor changes.  He drops the Cheeto’s,  and starts staring at me,  his eyes are glazing over, and he starts taking these long deep breaths, in an attempt to, I would assume, slow his heart rate down.  Now I’ve seen enough Kung Fu movies to know what’s about to happen here, so I grab my lotto, and make a run for the door, and like a cat, he’s on my tail.  I’m hauling ass up the street, taking sharp turns down driveways, running through back yards, hoping fences, doing whatever I can to lose this guy, all the while, I’m seriously starting to believe this dude IS in fact a Ninja, cause no matter what I’m doing, he’s right there.  I get back around the block, and I’m running behind the plaza where it all began, when I see an open door.  Now Champ has yet to come around the corner so I figure here is my chance, I dip in the door, and slam it shut.  Now I’m in the back of some Italian restaurant with absolutely no plan on how to get out of this situation, when all I can think about is “what’s this guy’s problem?”  All I did was spend $10 dollars a day on three different occasions to do my laundry at his establishment, and I shared some pleasantries with his cougar of a wife.  This guy has issues that make me look like a calm and rationale human being.  After about 15 minutes I figure, surely he must be gone, so I open the door a crack and have a look around, Champ is nowhere to be found, so I pop my collar, and proceed to the front of the plaza.  As I hit the car starter, out of nowhere he commando rolls out from the side of the bank, springs to his feet and yells out what can only be described as a “Bruce Lee” like howl.  I scream “oh shit”, and dive in the car, just as he jumps in his 1992 Astro Van, where he fortunately has a little trouble starting it up.  I peel out of there, and lose him, thank god, but I drive around for about an hour or so just in case.  What should have been a five minute trip to the store had turned into a 2 hour episode of “Prison Break”, and this is something I just didn’t have time for, it was after all date night, and I had to get ready.  So, yeah, thankfully the landlord got us new appliances, because I don’t think it would be wise for me to step into that Landry mat again.  In fact, I’m considering moving somewhere far far away, my life could depend on it. 

Book Report
I finished that book I was reading.  Well, I finished it a couple of weeks ago, but I had to apparently play in the playground with Eli for a bit and I didn’t get a chance to talk about it.  As part of a New Year’s Resolution I made to myself, I’m attempting to expand my horizons. I’m picking things that have always been of interest to me, but for whatever reason I never got around to indulging in.  First up is Eastern Philosophy.  The Author is Alan Watts, and the book is called “Become What You Are”, and no, it’s not some self-help “Anthony Robbins” type of book.  It’s a collection of Watts’ offerings from the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, all in the form of short essays, transcripts of lectures and radio shows, and small stories from Hinduism and Buddhism.  And it was actually a perfect starting point, although a fair bit of the books contents are very in depth and some are somewhat even over MY head, the diversity of subjects covered were exactly what I needed to better help me in deciding what direction to go, and where to branch off of from there.  From (attempting) to understand Universal Creation, to realizing the unmanageable and uncontrollable (albeit man made) concept of time and the wisdom of understanding that now is the only reality, for the past is finished and the future has yet to be determined, this book just couldn’t be put down.  To use fascinating as an adjective just doesn’t do “Become What You Are” any justice, for it was way more than that.  The reality and realism contained in this book, while certainly isn’t going to change anyone’s life, not in the West anyway, really makes you look at things a little bit differently, and as Philosophy is meant to do, cause you to think about things, not necessarily more clearly but certainly more deeply.  I won’t get into too much on it, because it might not be your cup of tea, but it’s only 150 pages, if that, so if you’re interested pick up a copy and get lost for a few days.  How often do I recommend anything, let alone a book?  And this one I recommend, if not for the teachings and the messages, then for the adventure that your mind will go on while you are reading it.

Super Bowl XXD%RF@GJK ( Whatever, Roman Numerals Suck)
Warm up the wings and chili, chill the “sodas”, and queue up the YouTube, next weekend is Super Bowl 46.  You want a prediction?  BET OVER.  I’m not sure what the line is yet, and I can’t look it up, because, again, there’s no Wi-Fi here, but I’m assuming it will be in the mid 50’s.  Again I say, bet over.  You’re talking about 2 quarterbacks with a lot to prove and play for this year, and both of them may actually be motivated by the same thing.  That same thing could through some twisted labyrinth of thinking be Peyton Manning.  How much would Eli like to win it for brotherly competition? And how much does Brady look at the elder Manning and his injury, and think, “wait, we aren’t invincible out here?”  Needless to say it will be a fast paced high scoring contest, and if I had to pick a winner, it would be New England.  You don’t bet against Tom when there is so much on the line.  Regardless of the past, regardless of last week.  It doesn’t matter, don’t bet against Tom.  He is if not one of the smartest QB’s in the league, THE smartest QB in the league.  He’s been there before (but I guess so has Manning), and he may or may not be sensing that he won’t be in the NFL forever (see: Favre, Peyton etc.).   But let’s be serious for a second, who cares who wins right?  As long as the game is good.  Well, no, actually, as long as the music is up, the food is in abundance and the Budweiser girls are “budweising”.  That’s all that really matters at the Super Bowl.   And Madonna as the halftime act?  Hmmmmm…. (Psst, between me and you, I have some inside info, Nicki Minaj WILL show up. She told me when she left this morning). It will be a great evening, soooo…. Maybe I’ll see you there?

NBA
Oklahoma City, in a quiet and shocking move signed Russell Westbrook to an extension this past weekend.  I say shocking, because a lot of people were under the impression that he would bolt and get him huge money somewhere else, not wanting to play Robin to Kevin Durant’s Batman.  And at 5 years and 78 million, I’m pretty sure that makes OKC the “anti-Heat”, if you will.  So let’s see, that locks up Durant, Westbrook, and Perkins for a long time.  Harden and Ibaka next?  Why not, that’s one hell of an athletic, gifted and young team, which if they can stay healthy will bring more than one championship to the once small market, struggling Mid-West franchise.  Yeah I said it, more than one, and in case you missed the hidden dig in there, I’ll clarify.  Fuck LeBron and the rest of that bitch made boy band in Miami.  There’s a roadblock in your plans, and I don’t know if you heartless scrub superstars, and I’m using THAT term loosely, are strong enough to get past the powerhouse that will be the Thunder in a year or two.  So you better get yours now, that window keeps getting smaller and smaller by the season.

Boys Of Summer
And of course with the Super Bowl, and the NBA all-star game on deck, that means one thing and one thing only.  It’s been a long and drawn out winter, but we’ve almost made it.  Less than a month to go, and the horns will blare, and the call will come out.  “Pitchers and Catchers report to spring training”.  I’ve been staring out this damn window long enough already, I want to see some baseball.  No, I need to see some baseball.  I need it like I need air.  Like a car needs gas.  I need it like your girlfriend needs me.  And it’s almost here.  With all but 2 or 3 guaranteed spots decided on the Jays roster, I will start slapping together an in depth analysis of the team, position by position, and what I prospect they will accomplish this season.  You may be shocked at what I’m expecting, but hey, its baseball, and until game 1 is over, everyone is in first place.  So stay tuned for that in the coming week or two. 

I guess I didn’t tie up as much loose ends as I wanted to, but that’s the joy that is a remote blog, you never know where it will go.  But seeing as though I finished my lunch about an hour and a bit ago, I’m afraid I’m in clear violation of Harvey’s and their no loitering policy.  And the last thing I want to entertain today is some 21 year old “Manager” informing me of such. So I got to wrap this up. I have to get home and post this, and then I have to hit the gym, and give the chest a nice pump. And of course tonight is date night, and I’m actually double booked.  Got a quick “hey how’s it going” over a coffee and a blueberry fritter right after dinner, then the prime time spot is reserved for someone who has been on deck for a minute and hasn’t complained once about it, so now it’s time for her patience to pay off.  Might see you here next week, depending on how the Super bowl party goes, but if I don’t, don’t fret, you know I’ll be back sooner than later.  Hit the share button on the way out if you don’t mind.  Somehow Eli’s post last week is the highest viewed post we have had yet, and I’m tired of hearing about it.  Why so many of you wanted to read about his bullshit depiction of me I’ll never understand.  Surely you couldn’t have actually enjoyed it?  Wait….    Ahhhhh damn it…..

I want to go there.

Was meandering about from blog to blog and just read this intro to finslippy.com

"Why, hello there. Alice Bradley is a writer, and this is her blog."

I am a little in awe and envious. I want to declare the same with such authority, but fearful mine would be more along the lines of "Hey, what's up? Jennifer is a well-intentioned, somewhat scattered mother, who got way-laid professionally and this is her online Dear Diary."

Nightswimming

I have always been a bit of a romantic, a sentimentalist who enjoys looking backwards from behind rose-colored glasses. With a milestone birthday arriving this year, I find myself being particulary caught under the spell of warm and welcome nostalgia.

Certain songs can bring me right back, like audio time machines, I am instantly transported to a moment and place. I spent a semester in Ireland. Six months in a somewhat ancient world that was all new for me.

There was a weekend trip to the Aran Islands. A cold, January excursion to Inishmore with new friends. I felt like I was perched at the edge of the world. We took an evening walk onto the beach. The strand of sand was illuminated by a full moon that shone like a spotlight on the waves of the cold Irish Sea.

I can't remember how the idea first came to us or who thought of it, but something in the air and in the moonlight was spellbinding and convincing enough that running, naked, into the cold, wintry, Irish water was the most appropriate and necessary thing for a bunch of girls to do.

"Nightswimming" brings me right back in an split instant to that crystal-clear moment of youthful exuberance. Plunging, laughing, shrieking into the icy water, with no concern for modesty or practicality. Far from home, ripe with possibility and full of ambition.

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.

With the opening notes, I can taste the salt water on my skin and get goosebumps from the frigid air. I smile thinking about the naked abandon, literally, that overtook us for just a few moments. Pure joy.

These things, they go away, replaced by everyday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx9br5ISRpo

Feeling Sassy!

This post from GoodFoodStories.com brought back some great vibes and memories about Sassy magazine. It feeds right into the current nostaglia trip I am on about the early '90s. Those were good times.

http://www.goodfoodstories.com/2012/01/16/eat-this-sassy-magazine/

Words From The "Executive Producer"

This is a guest post from the executive producer of theBusDrivaChronicles, but you guys can just call me Eli.  Many people don’t know this, but theBusDrivaChronicles is actually part of a network of blogs, it’s not the biggest and it’s not the smallest, but for some reason it requires the most amount of attention and hand holding in order to get anything done.  Now you can imagine my surprise when I logged on Monday morning, and had a look at what is apparently our “flagship endeavor” around here, only to see that the entire post was about me.  And not how great I am, or how lenient I am, or anything positive like that.  Instead it was about how I am currently caught up, so to speak, in a war of words with the self-titled “Peoples Blogger”.   Now I’m smart enough to know that you don’t really want to argue with Brad, seeing as though he’s an only child, and doesn’t really have anything better to do then drag out these affairs until you finally get bored, and give up.  That of course is when he starts gloating about how “that’s right”, and “next time just listen to me” blah blah blah, and a whole bunch of other irrelevant trash talking nonsense that doesn’t even make sense.  I also know better than to get into a pissing match with him, I won’t sit here and name call or down right make fun of him, we will save that for the “Drama Queen” over there himself, since he’s much better at it then all of us are put together.  Instead I was thinking about the best way to handle this little situation we have on our hands.  A sit down would have been a good idea, if of course we were dealing with a somewhat mature individual, which is just not the case.  Maybe some sort of disciplinary action?  Yeah right, this guy thrives on the threat of discipline.  No, I thought the best way to rebut his statements was to sit down at his desk, take over his forum, and counter his allegations maturely and with facts and truth.  Then let you decide who’s right and who’s wrong.  So here’s what I’ve done.  I’ve restricted his access, and won’t change it back until this post gets X amount of views.  That way he will have no choice but to flyer his Facebook page, his twitter and his BBM list, like he normally does, to promote my side of the story.  I mean after all its only fair right?  When we get to X amount of views, I’ll change his access back, and we can go on with the show, as Brad would say.  I know what you’re thinking, this isn’t the first time I’ve changed his password on him, so why doesn’t Brad just change it so I don’t know it.  LOL, to know the answer to the question would mean you would really have to know Brad.  All of his passwords are the same, and have always been the same, much to my chagrin.  I tell him all the time to change them periodically, and mix them up, but he is worried that he won’t remember them.  It all goes back to his very first computer in the mid 90’s.  A computer BTW I should mention, I got for him.  I think it was 1994, and I upgraded at the house, and asked him if he wanted my old 386, which at the time was a decent piece of equipment.  He said sure, and I came over to his place, and we set it up.  Now he had this little black book he used to keep for his “girls”, but it was more than just a phone book, it had codes, a starring system, “other notes” if you will.  And he spent the next month imputing as well as expanding all these entries into the computer.  Then, and till this day I don’t know why, he decided to password protect it.  To be honest, I don’t even know how he figured out how to password protect it, but he did.  Shortly after, I guess he was looking for a date, or as Brad would say “something to poke on”.  Yes, he still said that, even almost 20 years ago, he really hasn’t changed all that much.  But he couldn’t get into the protected file and called me freaking out.  I laughed, jumped on the bus, came over and fixed it for him, and then made fun of him for it for a very long time.  Since then, he uses the same password all the time, everywhere.  I even recently got him a password keeper program, although I doubt he uses it.  He probably can’t figure out how to unzip and install it.  Which brings me to my first point, has anyone bothered to ask why he has such a mammoth computer for?  There is no need in the world for him to have a computer like he has.  The guy watches old school hip hop videos on YouTube, porn (and lots of it) and writes a Blog once a week.  Yet he bought the biggest, flashiest and most expensive computer he could get his hands on.  And he has no idea how to use it.  Every other week I get a BBM saying, “Eli, my fucking computer is messed again.  I need one of you tech geeks to get down here and fix it”.  That’s actually Brad being somewhat nice, so I send a guy out there.  One week, it wouldn’t turn on, the tech got all the way up there and all he had to do was plug it in.  Why you would ever unplug your computer in the first place, I have no idea, and Brad couldn’t answer that either.  Do you see what I have to deal with around here?

Alright so let’s start with his office, since he cries about it every other week.  He does have one, in fact I’m in it right now.  To be honest it’s not the biggest office we have here, but on the flip side, the guy comes down once a month, if that, and works from home the rest of the time, so why should he be entitled to the bigger offices with the nice views.  That said, it’s not exactly the “mop closet” he insists that it is either.  A lot of people would love to have an office like this, although I doubt it would kill him to dust it once in a while.  The cleaning ladies refuse to come in here because once they moved his chairs around and OCD boy snapped on them for not putting them back exactly where they were.  Hey, do you want to know why he doesn’t come down here?  He will lead you to believe that its way out of the way for him, but the truth is he doesn’t drive anywhere south of Finch Ave. and never has.  He is afraid to drive in downtown Toronto, because “the streets are so narrow, traffic is too chaotic and there are way too many people walking around”.  May I remind you, this is a guy that drives a bus for a living, yet he’s afraid of narrow roads and traffic?  He parks at the station and takes the subway down.  No wonder it takes him forever to get here.  He did drive south of Finch a couple of times, made it to Sheppard even,  of course that was to see a girl, that apparently ended up getting sick of his crap and moved on, so I doubt he will do it again anytime soon.
What else did he cry about?  Oh yeah, business cards and coffee mugs.  For the former, I gave him an order form back in October, and he filled it in and submitted it to me.  When I asked him to correct a mistake he made, he refused.  It said “in what colour”, he checked both “Eggshell”, and “White”. I told him he had to pick one or the other, and he said he “wanted a blend”.  I shook my head and tried to explain why that wasn’t possible, and in true “Diva” fashion he yelled out "Fuck that, make it happen”, and stormed out of the office.  His order form is still sitting here in his inbox, not corrected, probably not even touched since, and that’s why he doesn’t have business cards yet.  As for the coffee mugs, I thought that was a great idea, I did some research and sent him some forms to order them.  He originally wanted 12, then it was 13, then it was 24, then 40.  And not all in one colour either, 1 blue and green mug for someone in San Francisco, 6 pink mugs, 6 black, 2 in this colour, and 1 in that etc. etc.  I repeatedly told him you’re not going to find anyone that is going to fill a ridiculous order like that, pick a colour, and order them.  The usual, “I’m the Busdriva, they should be glad to fill my order” song and dance followed, further illustrating that there’s just no reasoning with this man.  And the order form for the coffee mugs is still sitting right here, right on top of the business cards form.  And speaking of forms, every time there is something to fill out, everyone in the office does it electronically and submits it, but for some reason Brad insists that he gets an actual form, fills in it by hand, and physically has to hand it in to someone.  Whenever anyone asks him why he insists on do things the old fashioned way, he just says, “haven’t you seen I,Robot? This is how it begins”.  Seriously, this is what I deal with.

His Twitter account, LMAO, this argument always makes me laugh.  He wants a verified check beside his name so bad, but it’s just not going to happen. That’s on Twitter, not on me.  Verified accounts are only for “high ranking” celebrities, not “in your own mind” celebrities.  I told him he can apply for one but without a whole lot of followers you’re more than likely not to get one.  And last time I checked 37 followers wasn’t a whole lot of followers.  Brad can stomp his feet and yell as loud as he wants, but he just doesn’t get that Twitter doesn’t care about his only child routine.  He is either going to have to get about 999,963 more followers or just get over it.
Yes, I have his “If I Ruled The World” post, and no I’m not holding it down as some sort of repression or whatever he wants to lead you to believe.  I’m sitting on it because I’m tired of talking to him about checking spelling and proof reading his stuff before he hands it in.  How is someone so articulate and well-spoken such a horrendous speller?  When I open the file all I see are Microsoft’s little squiggly lines everywhere. Red ones, blue ones and yellow ones, and seriously, I don’t even know what the yellow ones are for, and can’t for the life of me find out.  So apparently he screwed something up really bad. I ask him if maybe he didn’t see them there, and he says “fuck Microsoft, they’re idiots, spelling is cool”.  Yeah, trust me, dealing with him gets somewhat redundant now and again.  So I told him, when you spell check it properly, you let me know, and we can go from there.  As a “man of principle”, he refuses.   The post is actually really good, could be one of his best, but his own stubbornness is what is holding it back, not me.

As for his ramifications, let’s face it, he’s not going anywhere.  Yeah yeah, a lot of people would love to have his name and his brand in their stable, but he is a Princess plain and simple, and he knows it.  He also knows no one except a longtime friend of 20 years would put up with his crap.  In fact, I actually enjoy his crap, to an extent.  It’s actually a nice break in the day, a refuge from reality if you will.  If I didn’t know him as well as I did, I wouldn’t believe that he thinks the way he does, but he actually does think differently than the rest of us, and it shows in his writings.  And yes, we do go that far back, which makes this feud he’s starting even funnier.  He forgets that in grade nine I used to cut his hair and we used to put crazy designs in it, and if I look hard enough I can probably find pictures.  He forgets that I took him to get his first tattoo, and yes he cried like a baby. He forgets how many times I was the “designated driver” and he had WAY TOO much to drink, and all the crazy things I convinced him to do at 4  in the morning.  I could write a book on this guy that would absolutely bury him.  Why would he start a beef with me?  And if I did put out a book, his days of serial dating would be over, which leads me to my final point.  Out of all these girls he blogs about dating, has anyone seen any of them?  We know Brad doesn’t use names and that’s fine, but maybe a picture or any proof at all that they actually do exist?  And let’s say for argument he does date this many beautiful women, has anyone ever noticed that he never talks about a second date with any of them?  I’ll leave that to your interpretation.  

Is this thing on?

So, that was a longer break than I anticipated. I think my brain, or at least the part that can write more than a pithy Facebook status, took an extended hibernation for the past year.

I must pause now and take a moment to mourn all the brilliant musings and random thoughts that popped up and that I failed to capture and write down.

Some of them were epic. It is amazing what brilliance I am capable of while washing the dishes or stumbling down the hall at 2:00 a.m. to respond to baby #3's cries. But, during the day, while trying to be a fully-formed adult? Well, 2011 was a bit of a wash-out.

Onward, now then, near voyager, to 2012. The New Year's resolution gauntlet has been thrown down. Let the blogging commence.

There's Trouble A Brewin..............

I’d LIKE to talk about a lot of things this week.  LIKE being the operative word.  I’d like to talk about this new book I’m reading, and how it’s stretching, strengthening and toning my mind in ways my mind has never been worked before.  But I can’t do that.  I’d like to talk about a date I was recently on, or at least I thought it was a date, but apparently it was just an extendo booty call of sorts, and how I feel about it, since I was (am) actually kind of fond of  this chick.   But I can’t do that either.  I’d like to share a couple of stories from the bus, as this week was exceedingly cold, and people were most definitely in a “mood” which always leads to great fodder, or how I went to No Frills, and got ripped a new one by the cashier because I didn’t get the toilet paper that was on sale, or maybe give my thoughts on the NFL playoffs thus far, maybe even a prediction or two, but no, I can’t get into any of that this week.  This week I can’t talk about any of the things I want to talk about, because something has come up that desperately needs to be aired out and addressed.  For once and for all, ramifications all be damned.  What I need to go in on this week, is a common enemy you and I both share.  A man that sticks his head where it doesn’t belong time and time again.  A man who thinks he is very much larger than the entity itself.  A man that goes out of his way to make life hell for your favorite blogger, limiting and hampering the very creative juices that make this blog not only a destination on the internet, but in a lot of cases THE destination on the internet for some 400 plus readers a week.  A man, that through whatever limited role he plays, seems to think that without himself, you and I would be without as well, thinks he is a spoke in the wheel, as opposed to the pothole that that wheel actually roles over, and thinks that he is the reason we all gather around our computers, tablets and phones every week to come together and revel in what can only be considered as ground breaking, earth shattering, hell raising, sun moon and stars type written offerings.  Who is this man you ask?  Well it’s no other then The Executive Producer of the BusDrivaChronicles himself of course.

Now it’s no secret trouble has been brewing around here for some time.  You needed go further than the pages of this very blog itself to find out how not only him, but that whole damn production team treats me around here.  They all seem to forget, I’m the personality in this, not them.  Not them with their little iPad’s, and their Android phones, and their stupid Bluetooth things hanging out of their ears, running around and making lots of money and shit.  No one cares about any of that crap, or maybe they do, but they sure as hell don’t when I have something to say, that’s for damn sure.  People come to this blog for ME.  Period.  No comma, no exception, they come for ME.  So why is it that I get the mop closet of an office?  Why is it I don’t get invited out to play mini golf?  Do I need to trade in my BlackBerry, get one of those stupid ear pieces and wear tight pants so that I can go to that queer ass deli they all go to for lunch every damn day?  Maybe they all need to learn a thing or two about supply and demand.  Because without me, what they have left over to supply sure as shit isn’t being demanded anywhere I know of. 
So this is what happened, and I’ll be the first to admit, the spark that set off this raging war was somewhat petty.  But in all its pettiness is revealed just how deep the waters of anger really are.  We all know I don’t go down to the office very often, but the other day they were filling out brackets for the NFL playoffs, and any time a guy like me gets to fill out brackets with a bunch of computer geeks, all I can think about is “easy money”. So I went down there.  As I’m there filling out my sheets he sees me and asks me to “step in his office, for a brief word”.  That’s never a good thing, right?  So I go in and he says “shut the door please”.  The only time I close doors is when I go to sleep, other than that I’m an open door kind of guy, so I refuse.  He says fine.  Then he asks me if I got his email the other day.  The email in question was a bitch move entirely.  He sent me an email at 4 in the morning with tips on how I should improve MY blog.  Not his blog, MY blog.  I said “yeah I got it, and…….”    He says, “Well why didn’t you respond?”  So I go on to explain that at the time I got the email I was in the middle of reading an extensive philosophical essay titled “The Finger and The Moon” that basically explains in detail the confusion people endure whilst trying to follow a religion, or religions for that matter, mired in contradictions and inconsistencies, and how they usually end up just being lead with little to no understanding of said religion at all.  He didn’t care.  He says again “Why didn’t you respond?” I said “Meat head, I WAS READING!!!!”  Well that didn’t go over to good, and we got to yelling.  In fact we were going back and forth so hard and so loud that everyone in the entire office was standing around the open office door hanging on to every word, wondering if punches were about to be thrown.  And I mean everyone. The whole team, the receptionists, the cleaning crew, and even the guy who fills the pop machine were standing by in anticipation.  It was almost Mayweather Pacquiao in there.  Finally, the repair guy, who happened to be there to fix the sauna, and who just happens to be about twice the size of both of us put together came in and broke it up.  Not because he cared, but because Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance” came on the radio, and he couldn’t hear it over our screaming.  Good thing for the Executive Producer that the repair guy likes his Whitney Houston because I was ready to lay a beating on him too.

My Side of The Story
There are a handful of things that he has done, is doing, and apparently will continue to do that drive me up the wall, show complete disrespect and display nothing but abuse of (alleged) power on a regular basis.  I’m going to list just three of these situations, so you can better understand exactly what kind of shit it is I have to put up with regularly around this dump.

                                                            Business Cards and Coffee Mugs
-How long have you and I been doing this for now? About 5 months or so, right?  When we first started this thing I told him I wanted some business cards made up, for promotional purposes (and for picking up chicks of course), he said “that’s a good idea, I’m on it.”  Fast forward to present day, still no business cards.  Whenever I bring it up to him, he gives me some song and dance about how they are “re-branding the parent company” and once they get that sorted out my business cards will become a priority.  Excuse me, but what the fuck does the parent company have to do with my blog?  I don’t want anything on these cards except the www, the email address and the twitter name.  Don’t water my shit down with whatever else you have on the go, we are here to promote me, not you’re other endeavors.  It’s all about pecking order here, and I’m the driving force behind everything else you have in the works, or at least that’s what I was told when I signed my contract to do this damn thing in the first place.

-On the plane back from Cancun in November, I took briefs periods off from day dreaming about San Fran, so I could brainstorm ways to make the blog a little more special, perhaps a Christmas promotion of some sort.  When I got off the plane I immediately called him to find out where my limo was, because whenever a celebrity gets off a plane there is supposed to be a limo waiting for him (apparently this guy doesn’t watch Entourage), and after he tells me to call a cab, and no I’m allowed to expense it, I tell him my idea.  For Christmas I wanted to do a promo where the first 12 people who emailed me with a blog topic got a BusDrivaChronicles coffee mug.  I would then take the 12 people’s ideas, and the first week of every month for all of 2012 would be “The People’s Choice” post’s.  Bringing the title “the people’s blogger” to heights previously unimaginable.  Do you remember hearing me announce that contest?  No you don’t.  Do you want to know why?  Because I’m still waiting on my fucking coffee mugs, that’s why.
                                                                            Twitter/Facebook

-One of the things he is always on my ass about is tweeting.  We get emails daily begging, pleading even, for me to tweet more.  Well, here’s the skinny on that folks, a long time ago I told him I wanted one of those verified checks beside my name, so that the people would know it is in fact me they are following and not some knock off imposter just posing to be the BusDriva.  He said he will look into it.  Now I’m no fool and I’ve fallen for that before, so I took a stand.  If there is one thing the Executive Producer hates, it’s Facebook.  He and Zuckerburg have some history, and although he has never fully told anyone the story, speculation around the water cooler is that he was a forefather of Facebook Canada, but left due to creative indifference.  That comes as no shock to anyone, does it?  So in retaliation for him not taking my request seriously, until I get a verified check beside my Twitter name, I decided that I will just use Facebook for my updates and thoughts, which I like better anyway for 2 reasons. One because sometimes my wit and creativity just can’t be contained in 120 characters, and two, because he hates it.

                                                                           If I Ruled The World
-In the early part of December I did a post titled “If I Ruled the World”, and yes, it’s about as good as you are thinking it will be, maybe even better in fact.  Since it’s somewhat controversial, and my contractual obligation states “any controversial posts must be submitted and cleared by both the legal department and the public relations department before being released”, I submitted it for approval.  It’s been over a month now.  How long does it take to rubber stamp that bitch in two cubicles, and give it the green light?  This post could very well go on to become the biggest and best post in blogging history, it could dwarf “It”, and even knock the “Shit That Annoys Me” trilogy right out of the water.  And after my Rob Ford post, how could anything I submit possibly get held up by red tape?  This is either censorship in its purest form, or its one man purposely holding another man down, for no other reason than resentfulness.  I’m starting to think “If I Ruled the World” will become to me, what the “Detox” album has become to Dr. Dre.  Highly, HIGHLY anticipated, but never released.  And that’s just downright unacceptable.

His Side of The Story
Fuck him.  Who the hell cares.

Ramifications
The bottom line here folks is respect.  That’s all I or anyone else could ever ask for.  Yet I’m not getting it.  Why I’m not getting it, I have no idea.  All I do around here is pour blood, sweat and tears into this blog week after endless week.  And let’s not forget, this is a side job for me, I have a full time job as well.  I also have a gym to go to daily, and a personal life that doesn’t manage or run itself.  Heaven forbid I should want to get my hair cut or have a little sex somewhere along the line.  But I show up, every seven to ten days, rain hail or snow to bring you exactly what you want, and want you deserve.  I go out of my way to make both this blog and my Facebook page an escape for you, an escape from your regular daily routine.  A place where you can go and forget about whatever it is that boils your blood, or whatever it is, that plainly you just want an escape from.  Maybe it’s the wife (or husband) and kids, maybe it’s the housework, maybe it’s the weather, maybe its work.  You always know you can turn to me, because I’m always up to something, not because I enjoy being up to shit, but because you need me to be up to shit. And during this whole process the Executive Producer cashes in.  He cashes in on my exploits, on my words, and on my readers faithful followship.  Your loyalty is something I take very seriously, yet to him, you and I both are just a payday, a mortgage payment, office lease, car note, gas money AND beer money. We are that bloody big!  You’d think he would go out of his god damn way to get me a verified check beside my god damn Twitter name and some god damned coffee mugs wouldn’t you?

I’ll tell you, things are going to change around here, and change fast, or else the results will be simple.  I’ll take my ball, and my 400 plus weekly readers, and go somewhere else and play.  Together you and I have created a brand that any number of people would love to host.  People that would have business cards delivered to my front door the next day.  People that wouldn’t hold up posts because they are “controversial” whaa whaa whaa, “you mentioned religion” whaa whaa whaa, “called out racism” whaa whaa whaa.  People that would care about the time and effort I put in here, and the time and effort you, my readers take to stop by and read.  And when I go, what’s he got left?  Is he going to do this blog by himself?  What’s the BusDrivaChronicles without a BusDriva?  What is he going to call it?   “TheChronicles”?   Oh, that’s attractive, I can’t wait to check those stats.  Maybe he will become the personality here.  Won’t that be something?  Then he can call it “TheLittleManWithNapoleonSyndromeChronicles” or maybe “ComputerGeekWithASmallPenisChronicles”. He can talk about programming, and World of WarCraft and entertaining shit like that.  I’ll tell you this much, if I don’t get a verified check, some business cards, a box of coffee mugs and some god damn respect, we will all find out what he’s going to do and what he’s going to call it then, wont we?

Live and Direct From................ The Laundry Mat?!?!?

The dryer at the house is broken.  So this morning, I packed up the dirty clothes, grabbed the soap and the bounce, and took the show on the road.  Good thing I brought the laptop as well, because if there is one thing I learned today, it’s that people at the laundry mat are just down right miserable.  With the exception of course, of the little Korean lady that runs this place, she’s actually pretty awesome.  And for a lady in her mid, I would say, 40’s, not too hard on the eyes either.  Her husband is usually kicking around somewhere too, his name is Champ, and he’s always got a little bounce in his step, which leads me to believe she handles her bedroom business just as good as she throws a one inch cuff in a pair of slacks.  Good thing for Champ, hitting other people’s girls is my old bad habit, otherwise he’d be bounce less, and I would have to go all the way across town to get my clean on.  Anyway, back to the other three people in here, I’ve said hi, waved or smiled at each one of them, and not one has acknowledged me.  I’m starting to figure out, while this may be a mild inconvenience for me, a field trip of sorts if you will, having to come here every week always and forever must really suck nuts.  One lady in particular though, we were using washing machines right next to each other, when she looked at me, in what I thought to be acknowledgment, so I said, all fun and stuff, “Let’s do some laundry!!”, while I stuffed my clothes in the washer, smiling.  Nothing at all, not even anything resembling a response from her, but don’t worry, she will get hers soon enough I’m sure. So much for trying to have some fun while I’m here, I guess its remote blog time.  Which is kind of a fun idea, no research, no particular topic, just you and me, having a little one sided conversation.  I’ll just freestyle it, we’ll tell some stories, maybe a dirty joke or two, and just for good measure I brought my musings pad along with me.  For those of you who don’t know, I keep a pad in my pocket at work, and when something pops into my head, I jot it down, 9 months later, voila…..   musings are born. I don’t have as many ideas in there as I would like, but I brought the pad anyway, just in case I have to fill some space.  Ok, to be truthful, I didn’t bring the pad, I just didn’t empty out my work shirt pockets when I threw my clothes in the basket, and I stumbled upon it right now, thankfully of course, before it got washed, and my ideas would have been lost forever.  But either way, it’s here, I’m here, you’re here, and what the hell else do we need?  Maybe a bit of Jell-o, and the Footloose soundtrack, and then we’re really having a party!  There’s another pretty good reason for doing a remote post. I’ve been doing a bit of research, at the beck and call of the Executive Producer of TheBusDrivaChronicles (the ball breaking prick, who has time to do research?), and from what I’ve read, the key to a good blog is the personal touch.  Apparently people want to know the blogger not just for what he writes, but for who he is, and posts like this, mailbags, and week in reviews do just that.  Don’t let the blog become a newspaper, but at the same time don’t let it become a daily diary.  Or some shit like that.  At least that’s what I had to promise I took from our little exercise before he would let me log off of Skype, seriously, who is this guy. There’s nothing worse on this planet than a boss with nothing better to do. More on that meeting in a bit though, let’s talk.

So what’s going on?  Oh I know, the new Batman movie is coming out soon.  And by soon I mean like 6 months or something stupid like that.  Why do they do that?  Tell me about the movie like a week, week and a half before it comes out.  Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to walk around with an erection for 6 months?  It’s only slightly more embarrassing than getting an erection over a Batman movie in the first place.  Speaking of erections, Cat woman??  I can almost guarantee that no one will see the actual suit until you see the movie.  It will never make the trailers.  It’s just too big of a draw.  You know Christopher Nolan won’t let us down, and I can hardly wait for Hallowe’en already.  What did let me down though is that during the previews I’ve watched, they keep telling me this is going to be the final installment.  I don’t appreciate that at all.  I know that it has to end eventually, but I don’t want to know when, and I certainly don’t want to know this early.  Let’s set up a metaphor for how I’m feeling about this.  Let’s say you’re dating this ridiculously bomb blonde Asian chick, who’s got tons of money, a mean Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 that she lets you push, a bad ass condo close to your work, with a full gym downstairs, complete with pool, steam room, and hot tub.  And this chick is a giver. If you see it in porn and it turns you on, she’s doing it, repeatedly, with blatant disregard for her own satisfaction.  The chick can cook her ass off too, and although she’s in incredibly amazing shape, her dinner interests are pretty much kept at anything deep fried, greasy, or of course pizza.  Never anything fancy or unpronounceable and certainly none of those annoying ass vegetables.  And to top it all off, she can rub a back like a back was meant to be rubbed.  Now, out of nowhere one day, she says she has a twin sister, no wait, TWO twin sisters, and they are identical in every way possible.  And this weekend you had better take some sick days, because they are all coming over, and the four of you are going to go through the entire Kama Sutra until you nail every position in there perfectly.  You will stop only to check sports scores, BBM the guys with pics, and eat fresh fruit and BLT”S with extra bacon.  Here’s the catch though, after that weekend, the relationship is over.  Done.  Break up city.  How you would feel before the weekend is how I feel about knowing The Dark Knight is ending.  I don’t want to know about it now, let me have my weekend of bliss, and just flash “THE END” when it’s done.  It’s going to be tough to enjoy with this information up front.  I mean, I’ll enjoy the hell out of it, but I really wish I didn’t have that tidbit of news.  With all that said though, Bane looks like he is going to be monster, and Christian Bale, who happens to be one of my favorite actors, looks like he, as usual is bringing his A game.  I can’t wait.
Landry Mat update:
The lady who didn’t find me funny?  Well, she just dropped a whole basket of folded laundry on the floor and now has to re fold it all.  Looking at these floors, I would probably be inclined to re wash them as well.  Do you still think I have no say in the power of balance in the universe?  That’s what you get for not being impressed by Mr. Personality over here.

These dryers are massive.  I kind of want to crawl into one of them, they are that big.  If someone else was here with me I probably would, and get them to turn it on, and see if I tumble. That would be pretty damn hilarious
Oh, and Champ may have been reading over my shoulder when I was talking about his wife.  He is just standing in the corner staring at me, and stretching.  There’s a very good chance I’m going to get a serious beating when I walk out of here.  Oh well, that’s the price you pay for cutting edge journalism I suppose.

Hey, let’s talk about that meeting I had with the team a little bit more.  So I get an email saying I have to come down to the office for some meeting about direction with the blog, and feedback, and ideas, and blah blah blah.  But I didn’t believe it.  I thought I was getting fired, primarily because it was CC’d to everyone I answer to around here.  And secondarily because I probably should be fired before I get us into any kind of serious trouble.  I’m still waiting on them to get back to me with my “If I ruled the world” post that I submitted and never heard back on.  Ya, it’s that controversial.  Hopefully I’ll have it back by next week, because I’ve been dyeing to post that one.  But I get this email, saying I have to come down there and have a sit down.  Now, for those of you who don’t know, I work 35 minutes away from where I live, slightly to the west.  TheBusDrivaChronicles office is located right downtown, slightly to the east.  That’s basically a whole day of driving, before I go to work and drive all night long there, and just to get fired?  I figured, screw that, I’ll Skype in, and they can fire me online.  So the meeting was scheduled for 1pm, at 1:20pm I logged on, and would you believe it, no one was even surprised.  Pfft, like they even know me.  But it turns out I’m not getting fired, yet, and they actually wanted to discuss ideas, go through some feedback, and do a couple little exercises like the one I told you about earlier. One of the main ideas they have is BusDriva TV.  They want to do a VLOG once a month.  And if it works out, maybe start a page specifically dedicated to it.  I’m not really sure how much spare time they think I have on my hands, but I do like the idea.  Something we discussed is that I have a unique way of talking, whereas my delivery and intonation say as much as my words do, and once in a while it gets lost in translation when I write it down.  It’s something that apparently those that know me well can really identify with, and it’s a problem that will be avoided by VLOG’ing.  The problems we discussed was accessibility, will everyone be able to view the VLOG on whatever browser or phone they are using, and what would we use to upload it.  When I suggested YouTube everyone laughed, and said that’s a stupid idea.  I guess I’m not smart enough to know why, but I am smart enough to know that they are all computer geeks, and computer geeks are gay anyway.  Screw it, it’s there problem not mine.  If they do figure it out, we could have some serious fun though.  Maybe do a VLOG from the bus itself?  What about a live from the BeerFest VLOG, or a coffee shop edition?  San Francisco anyone?  If I go down there to VLOG, they would have to foot the bill, right?  First class all the way, baby.  Stay tuned, I’ll keep you posted as things develop. 
But hey, listen, I got to wrap things up here, my clothes are dry, and Champ must have went for lunch, or to get weapons or something, so I gotta  make a run for it while he’s stepped out, I got a date this evening, and I don’t feel like showing up with a black eye.  I’ll drop a few musings for you to read, and then I’ll make a dash for the door, screw the OCD, I’ll fold the clothes at home.  Before you go any further get back to Facebook and hit the share button, views were down last week, and The Boss didn’t not bring that up, a bunch of times……… Hang in there, and I’ll see you next week……………

Musings…………………………
I have no idea what the difference is between a scarf and a pashmina, and too be honest, I’m just fine with that………………………….
One thing that really annoys the shit out of me is when people update their BBM, Facebook and Tweet the same thing at the same time constantly.  How do you spell overkill?.........................
If you’re looking for a great porn site check out Video Diva, they have everything.   Yes even that.  Shit, mom, skip that one……………………………….
The next time you have some prescription narcotics laying around, or non-prescription, if that’s what you do, do yourself a favor, double the dose, and watch A Clockwork Orange.  Thank me later……………………..
This week’s blog love goes out to tdotlive.com if it’s hip, urban, or relative to Toronto, you’ll find it here.  That’s the nephews’ site, and he keeps it going real strong, have a look around next time you get a chance……………………….
Can we stop calling it a glove compartment sometime soon?  I don’t even think since its inception a single person has ever once put a pair of gloves in there.  There must be a more fitting name.  If we use my car as the template, it would be called “the cologne and Viagra compartment”………………………………..
So this Russian lady gets on the bus wearing a fur coat.  I say, “wow, nice coat”, she says “it’s Chinchilla”, I say “really”, and she says “feel it”.  So I run my hand along the lapel, which of course is located directly above her breast.  I say “ooohhhh”, she says “right? So soft and warm”, I say “the jacket is nice too!”  She giggles and blushes.  How is it I’m not disciplined severely on a daily basis?.............................. 
A girl with a nose ring is sexy.  A girl with a Labret piercing might be a little sexier.  A girl with a tongue ring, well, you know.   But when a girl has all three, she just looks ridiculous, and needs to bring it down a notch.  Knock it off, your over accesorizing………………………………..
One thing I’m figuring out, mail order brides seem to look a little less expensive with every date I go on…………………………………….
There’s a really big difference between a psychiatrist and a counselor. A psychiatrist can get up off the pad and prescribe something to calm you down, where as a counselor teaches you coping techniques.  I seriously need to think about making a change, because counting to ten and thinking about the colour green really isn’t fucking cutting it anymore…………………
You can say what you want about country music, but Montgomery Gentry is just great drinking music…………………………………………
There’s a reader out there that constantly calls me pretentious, right to my face even.  So let’s clear this up once and for all right now.  There is absolutely nothing deceptive about my air of importance.  Good, that’s all cleared up………………….
I really want a Segway……………………………………………
It’s actually probably a good thing I’m not a Jedi because I would take “abuse of power” to a whole other level. Forget light sabers and mentally moving objects, that mind manipulation thing could make for some seriously enjoyable evenings……………………………………………