50 Sing The Hook..........................

Guess who’s got a birthday this month?  Well, it’s none other than everyone’s favorite internet destination of course.  Everybody’s most clicked on shortcut.   The most over abused bookmark in your favorites tab.  That’s right, this month the blog turns 1!  I can’t believe it either personally.   You and I have been doing this shit together for an entire year now.  Who would’ve thought I’d stick to it?  Who would have thought my ADD wouldn’t overcome my OCD and cast me off into some other stratosphere of expression?  I’ll be honest with you, not only did I not think I would keep it up longer than a couple of months max, but a staggering 44 posts in that time as well?  Hell, even I’m impressed, and we all know I don’t impress easy.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned about blogging in the past year, it’s that it’s all about momentum and feedback.  Those are the two driving forces that keep sites like this alive and kicking.  I stumble upon other blogs that seem to have momentum, then you gradually see fewer and fewer posts, then you notice larger and larger gaps between postings until it eventually dissipates into a forgotten hobby, the way that the clarinet or badminton usually find themselves going.  Not I though, not I.  That’s where the feedback comes in.  You see feedback spawns momentum.  And I’ll be the first to tell you that sometimes I just don’t feel like it.  Sometimes I have other shit to do.  Sometimes I don’t have other shit to do, and just don’t want to.  Then the phone starts beeping.  Sometimes it’s Eli breaking my balls, sometimes it’s just an avid reader with a craving.  Maybe it’s a text message or maybe it’s a Facebook IM, or perhaps an email.  Whatever the case, it’s always the same thing, “No blog this week?”  It’s at that moment I realize I have a commit to fulfill.  An obligation if you will.  So I turn off the tranny porn, put down the Dorito’s and slap something together.  If you’ve ever been the one to send that message, know and understand that although hundreds of people from all over the world will eventually show up to read it,  that post was all for you.  It’s yours.  You’re welcome and thank you, both at the same time.

Now Eli and I had our monthly meeting the other day, and we were discussing what we should do to mark this commemorative occasion.  We actually have to do our meetings over Skype now, because for the time being I’m prohibited from entering the downtown office.  Long story short, that will be the last time that stupid vending machine DOESN’T drop my Snickers all the way down when I hit D6.  Actually, it will be a long time before that vending machine drops anything down again, since I left it in about 300 pieces.  I can’t really talk too much about that situation though, due to a pending trial, but my therapist says she can get me off scot free citing the old “his rage is a direct result of growing up without a father, blah blah blah”.  But she admittingly will have a tough time explaining why three panes of office building windows got shattered on my way out.   She says I may have to take a few anger management classes to appease the court, and I for one am looking forward to that.  For some reason the thought of being in a room with a bunch of wound up frustrated psycho’s excites me, and I can’t wait.  So anyway, Eli and I were brainstorming, and we came up with an idea to do a month by month recap of the entire year.  We were thinking I could maybe do two parts broken down into six months each, and possibly make that the annual marking of the blog’s birthday.  I’ve been thinking about it though, and I’ve decided I don’t want to do that.  I mean come on, what am I going to put?  This month I wrote this, bought that and banged her.  The next month I wrote that, bought this, and banged her and her.  Every month is the same old story around here, just swap out the post title, the toys and the girls.  Shit, even I’m not that redundant.  I figure, if you want to re-read the old posts, you have access to that, I don’t need to waste my precious word count, and your even more precious time, reiterating what’s been iterated before.  Eli really liked that idea, and was all over it, but Eli also thinks his hair cut looks good, so I take Eli’s opinions with a slice of lemon, and a splash of salt.  And besides, I drive the bus, so I call the fucking shots anyway, right?  So instead, just like I do with my own personal birthday, I’m going to mention it, leave it at that, and move on.  Happy Birthday Blog, you 1 year old bastard you.  Happy Birthday.  Now, let’s get on with the show……….
So, a lot of you probably want to know how BeerFest was this year, but to answer that question we need to clear up a social misconception first.  The word “epic” gets bandied about rather haphazardly these days, and it shouldn’t.  When using “epic” to describe something you should keep in mind the words definition.

Epic (ep-ic) (adjective); Very large or Heroic.  Impressive by virtue of greatness of size, scope or heroism. 
With that clear we can create some examples.  The vastness of space is epic.  The deepness of the ocean is epic.  The height of Mount Everest is indeed epic.  And my dear fellowship, BeerFest 2012 was, by definition, truly epic.  I could go on to tell you exactly why, but frankly, your ass should have been down there partying with us, and weren’t, so why should I?  If you would like to live vicariously through our exploits, hit up the Facebook, and have a gander at the 150 or so pictures I posted.  Just so you know, I took those pics for you, because my selflessness knows no end.  Now, if you were there, it was great to see you.  And if you weren’t (shame on you), next year when I say “see you down there” you make damn sure I do in fact see you down there, although I doubt anything will top this years.  To better illustrate how amazing it was, I’ll tell you a quick story though.  On Sunday morning when I was leaving to go home (no, I couldn’t do 3 days, but I did give it serious thought) I was pulling out of the cramped underground parking lot of the hotel I was staying at.  As I was backing out of the spot some asshole ran up and threw one of those concrete pillars right in my way.  Fucking prick.  Did a pretty little number to my 6 week old car too.   However, the weekend was so great I couldn’t possibly get mad even if I wanted to.   I knew anyone that had as good of a time as I had was going to eventually have to pay something for it, and I know the Universe doesn’t lose, so I just picked up my side view mirror threw it in the trunk and made my way home.  I think that adequately clarifies how good BeerFest was, doesn’t it?  All said and done, an extra about a thousand dollars spent on car repairs, and Mr. Short Fuse over here did nothing but smile, look up at the sky and compliment Karma on how well played that was.  You should have been there.  Epic.

But anyway, it's bad news time.  Well, maybe not bad but certainly far from orgasmic.  I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve got on here and stole your ears (or I suppose your eyes for that matter) and that’s because frankly, I’ve been a little busy.  Here’s the deal; due to a mix up of scheduling in order to allow both an extended vacation and my incumbent road trip to Montreal, mixed in with a “Brad and Josh night of fun” coming up this weekend, I’ve really only got less than a handful of days off this entire month.  Add that to the fact that there are a ridiculous amount of movies I want to see, some time needed to fix the aforementioned body damage to the whip and of course a never ending commitment to satisfying (to the best of MY ability anyway) the desires of random female bodies, August is pretty much a wash.  So as far as the blog is concerned, I’m taking the rest of the month off.  But no one can really be too upset with me though, because as previously mentioned, 40 plus posts in a year is still pretty damn good.  Although the irony I guess is mentioning both momentum and consistency and then a brief hiatus in the same writing, but hey that’s me for you, a walking contradiction.  I’ll be back and in full swing come September though, I promise.  Just a few more weeks of fun, then its batten down the hatches time for the remainder of this year.  I’ve got some lingering debts that, although I’ve be patient, just don’t seem to want to clear themselves up, so it’s work horse mode until that’s all done, which means I’ll be tired and won’t want to go out and adventure as much as I have been lately, leaving me some extended blog time.   And it will probably mean I’ll be grumpy too, which always makes for entertaining writings, so we all have something to look forward to, don’t we? So be patient and the fun will resume shortly……
Before I get out of here, I want to send a special shout out across the pond to my main man Ram.  Recently Ram reached out to Eli via email, to let him know he’s doing everything he can to spread the BusDrivaChronicles across England, and that people, is the ultimate compliment.  Ram, Eli and I go way back.  All the way back to high school in fact, where we had ourselves a pretty close knit crew.  Although he went to Richmond Hill High, which means I should hate him, I never could, because Ram was good people.  If I’m not mistaken, not once but twice he showed up to give me a ride home when the driver I was with had their license confiscated by police.  Long story(ies).  Ram used to push this old beat up white Honda Civic that was always pounding Reggae (much to my dismay), but every now and again he would throw in a little Tribe for me.  See, good people.  I even had a nickname for him that I would use when he wasn’t around.  I would call him “Insert Softly”.  Sort of a reverse nickname thing I guess.  Like calling a bald guy “Curly” or calling me “Skinny”.  I thought it was funny, but I to this day have the sense of humor of a 10 year old boy, so what do I know.  Anyway, good looking out “Insert Softly”, and thanks for the love, it’s much appreciated.  And thanks to everyone and anyone who has read, shared, commented or emailed over the past year.  It’s all of you that got us far enough into this so that we could celebrate a birthday in the first place.  It’s you that took us international, it’s you that makes this site a destination and it’s you that keeps this blog up to date and consistent, with the exception of the next few weeks that is.  I’m out of here, I’ll see you all in September.   Hang in there………………..

Fifty, Sing the hook……………………….