This Is What Annoys Me.......Part 2

Page views, comments and feedback don’t lie.  “This is what annoys me” may be in fact one of the best written, well received and thoroughly discussed blogs posted in the entire history of the internet.  Every person I discuss my blog with defaults to that entry as their favorite, and the non-original page views, which measures repeated reading from the same person, shows it as the most revisited post I’ve offered.  The cries, the requests, the suggestions abound.  I never thought I’d be the type of author to do sequels, but as the people’s blogger, I write for you, not for me.  And if you want a part 2, it would not only be my pleasure, but my duty in fact, to provide my followers with exactly what they want, what they need, and what they desire.  You know the drill, if you have done, or do any of these things, then yes, absolutely, I’m talking about you.  Knock it off, your irritating the dog shit out of me!!

Talking to me
Let’s be clear, I enjoy a good amount of back and forth as much as the next guy.  And there are in fact a handful of people that actually have something to say.  They are few and far between mind you, but they do exist. For clarity though, this is the type of talking I’m referencing.

-If you know the answer to the question your about to ask me, then stop.  Stop right now.  I’m busy.  I know it doesn’t look like I am, but I am.  I’m probably doing 13 or 14 things right now that I’m supposed to be doing, and most assuredly at least 4 or 5 things that I’m not supposed to be doing.  Clearly my hands are full.  If you don’t need help, don’t pretend to need help.  And kindly don’t waste my time, our precious air and your last remaining strand of self-awareness on being redundant.
-I don’t want to hear your jokes, or your anecdotes or your limericks.  I’m funny, you’re not.  I drive the bus, you ride the bus.  I’m a solid contributing member to society and the community, you’re you.  Let us all just play our roles here. 

-That long winded story about your brother, I’m sorry to hear it.  No, like I’m really sorry I had to hear it.  You are going to be in my life for about 9 minutes, why do you feel the need to tell me something important about your sister, cousin or dad?  Do you really just need someone to talk to?  I’m not the guy, for two reasons, one, remember the first point up there?  I’m busy dumb ass.  And two, I just don’t care.  You have to talk, go to a bar, or get a haircut, talk there.  That’s what they are there for.  Now go sit down, I’m driving a bus and planning my next blog here.
-Do not, for any reason what so ever, ever in your right mind, ever tell me how to do my job.  In the same respect, I will never even once come into Wendy’s and tell you how to work the deep fryer.  If I did something, maybe I swerved, maybe I stopped short, or anything else for that matter that you deemed reckless, it probably wasn’t reckless, it was probably evasive, and there’s a good chance I avoided a much bigger problem than you having to do a little two step.  If I’m driving a little fast or way too slow, I’m doing it for a reason, and no, to be honest, you don’t need to know that reason.  I drive, you ride, remember? 

Pay your fare, in full, if you please.
Why is it assumed that because you’re short its ok?  Here’s what I want you to do tomorrow.  Walk into Tim Horton’s and order a large coffee.  When the employee brings it to you and says, that will be $1.65, put .85 cents on the counter and say, “that’s all I have”.  The employee will reply with a cheerful, “oh, ok than” and take the coffee back and walk away from you.  There’s no room for debate, or discussion.  No funds, no coffee. End of story.  Yet I’d say, and this is conservatively, that 70% of the people that get on the bus don’t have full fare.  A dollar, a dollar 35, 14 cents, whatever the case may be, sometimes they will say, “this is all I have” as they drop it in.  Sometimes they won’t say anything and just drop it in.  Either circumstance the implication being, that’s its fine, no problem.  How about this, if you don’t have the money, you stay your ass home, or you walk?  Did that ever pop into anyone’s mind?  Where does the audacity come from?  This grand illusion that price is negotiable, or fare is for everyone except themselves.  Oh, and your excuse for not having money, well, it’s neither original, nor plausible.  And I don’t care to hear it.  Didn’t you read earlier, I’m busy.  pay your fare, move to the back,sit down and be quiet, these blogs don’t write themselves you know.

Or don’t pay your fare, just be quick about it
Truth be told, I don’t care.  You not paying your fare is actually a form of theft.  Taking a goods or service and not trading with equal value.  I don’t have time to police, nor do I have inclination to argue with a fool.  What you’re doing is not right, but that’s between you and whatever God you pray too.  You can deal with him when the time comes.  But whatever you do decide to do, do it expeditiously please.  Meaning pay your fare, don’t pay your fare, move to the back, sit down and be quiet.  That’s about as simple as it gets.

Don’t eat your “delicacies” on my bus
I know your short on time and trying to do nothing more than multi task, but come on, do you not have any respect for anyone around you?  Your sitting there gnawing away on your whopper combo, mouth wide open with ketchup and mayo all over your shirt, at least I hope that’s mayo, all the while everyone around you gets to both watch and listen to you chew.  Absolutely disgusting. And more importantly it’s just down right bad home training.  If there was a couch on the bus you’d probably be jumping up and down on it with your damn shoes on too, right?  And the whopper combo’s, big macs and hot dogs aren’t even the worst of it.  I can at least tolerate that, even if it’s because I don’t really feel like dealing with it.  The “foreign” meals are the most horrendous.  Anything with words like curry, goat or cow tongue should be left eaten at home or the whole in the wall they were bought from.  Why? Because point blank, if it smells like ass or armpit there is no way you can come close to convincing me that it tastes good. My bus doesn’t need to smell like a high school cafeteria in Zimbabwe.  The reality of it is, it smells bad enough to begin with, so leave it at home, you’re making me nauseous up here.  And seriously, I know your primitive and all, but if you have to eat on the bus, take your garbage with you when you leave.  Not for me, because in all reality I have no reason to venture to the back of the bus, so it’s not really my problem, but do it for the other people that use the bus.  If they wanted to wade through your trash they would go to the park you live in and do it there. 

Cut your finger nails at home
This requires absolutely no further explanation.....  Bunch of savages…….

Pay attention
You’re out in the real world.  You are on your way to work, a buddy’s house, the unemployment office, where ever it is your going.  Have a look out the window.  Know where you are.  Simple stuff here, right?  How is it that about 4 or 5 times a night someone misses their stop? That shit is just unbelievable.  If people paid attention to their surroundings then the term “the dumb get dumber” would have never been invented.  And I don’t care if the stop calling thing isn’t working, because the reality of it is, you’re neither hearing, nor visually impaired, so it’s not for you anyway.  I could understand if the bus was covered in a giant tarp, and the only person that could see out of it was me, AND the stop calling apparatus wasn’t working, but you’d still be considered a moron for not being proactive instead of reactive.  Another thing, listen for announcement’s, they are for you, not for me.  When I make an announcement that the bus is short turning and you miss it, because your screwing with your phone, or listening to your music, I’m not going to remind you when I’m about to make the turn.  I’m just going to make the turn and head back from whence I came, and guess what, now you’re coming with me.  I say things like short turning next stop, please move back, or I don’t really care, once.  I’m not in the habit of repeating myself to educate others.  It takes too much energy to be honest.  Next thing you’re going to want me do is find the village that’s missing their idiot so you can get back home.  Well I’m sorry, in case you haven’t been following along, I am way too busy for that shit, I’m driving, doing some other things, some of which I should be, some that I shouldn't be, and most importantly I’m working on a blog up here people!!!!