Screw you LeBron James........

Screw you in the ear.  Screw you hard in the ear.  Screw you hard in the ear with a metal stake.  It’s your fault I’m not gearing up for another Raptors losing season.  It’s because of you I’m not going to get to see Kevin Durant grow a little bit more towards becoming the most prolific scorer in NBA history.  And it’s all thanks to you, I’m not going to watch for 8 months anticipating what team is going to step up, and send you and your little boy band that is the Miami Heat packing from the playoffs this go around.  You are the primary cause of my dismay on what should be opening week of the 2011-2012 NBA calendar. And your logic rational and reasoning or lack thereof is simply appalling.  Every one of the merry men, from Billy Hunter and Derek Fischer all the way down to Bill Walker and Chris Wilcox should be ashamed.  Truth be told, each and every single athlete in that league continually forgets one very simplistic fact.  Had it not been for a single genetic defect, I’d be kicking most of them off my bus for not having proper fare.  And because of said defect, now everyone owes them something.  The main issue in this lockout, in case you don’t know, is money.  I know, I know……  Shocker.  You see, the division of profit in the landscape of the NBA, up until last year, was 57-43 percent in favour of the players.  The owners, understandably, don’t want to, and cant, live with that.  There is a whole lot of cost associated with owning and running a professional basketball team, and let’s not forget one important truth, THEY ARE THE ONWERS!  Go into any franchise in your area.  If it’s a gas station, ask the clerk if he makes more money than the owner.  If it’s a restaurant, ask the dishwashers, and so on and so forth.  You’ll be out there all damn day, and you won’t find a single business where the employees make more than those that write the checks.  Who the hell do these guys think they are?  So now they have negotiated down to approximately 51-49, still in the players favour.  Take away the ability to dunk that ball, and you’re making ten bucks an hour bussing tables at the local I-HOP, yet now you won’t budge another one point to appease the man that is providing you your bread and butter in the first place?  Are you kidding me?  The next item they are fighting about is a hard cap.  Simply put, the owners want to put an end to fiascos like LeBitch and his boyfriends teaming up to (try to) take over the league.  They want reasonable competition and parity for all.  Wow, how unfathomable that anyone would want, or as a professional, desire, a healthy load of competition.  Toronto and Cleveland, who were the recipients of the raping that was “The Decision”, combined for 41 wins last season.  That would be subpar for one team, but as a two team collective, that’s just wrong.  Two franchises were completely crippled because one team wanted to gain an unfair, and should be pointed out unsuccessful, advantage (thanks again Dirk).  A hard cap would stop all this nonsense in its tracks.  Now the players are arguing that a hard cap would lose them approximately 500 million dollars over the next ten years.  Excuse me?  You’re not losing 500 million dollars boys, its money you should have never had, should never have, and hopefully if this lockout does its job won’t have ever again.  You didn’t lose it my tall athletic self entitlists, because it was never yours.  And wait one second.  If you are losing 500 million dollars and you’re not cocking guns right now, that means that there is still a substantial amount left in the kitty?  How much is enough LeGreed?  How many escalades does your entourage need?  How many mansions?  Yachts? Planes?  You honesty want me to try and understand that you can’t survive off 5 mill per?  Really?  That’s not nearly enough?  I want to throw this laptop through the fucking window right now, im so pissed.  The final main issue of the lockout is that teams don’t want profit sharing.  Ok, stay with me here.  The television rights for the L.A. Lakers were bought (by whomever, I can’t recall, and I’m not looking it up) for 150 million dollars per year.  The television rights for the Portland Trailblazers (whom I would much rather watch than the one man Kobe show any day) are worth 120 million dollars over the next 10 years.  That’s not a typo.  Basically the Lakers make more off their T.V. rights in one season, than the Trailblazers make off their own in a decade.  Yet the players are against profit sharing?  Where are the mothers in all of this?  And no I’m not talking about the player’s babies mothers, lord knows they are everywhere and anywhere, I’m talking about the players mothers.  If you were starving and broke and I had a bit of money in my pocket and I didn’t buy you a sandwich and a pop, my mother would rip me a new asshole for hours.  And that would be over what? 5-6 bucks?  Where’s LeBron’s mom to give him the talk about sharing as well as the haves and have nots?  Oh wait, she’s over at Delonte West’s house right?   She’s catching a little clinically depressed “D”, she doesn’t have time to nurture her man child.  Although if she did that in the first place maybe he would actually have a little bit of class, possibly even dignity.  But you know what? I doubt it.  The players are going to try and take and take and take, and the owners just can’t keep up.  This isn’t the NFL, where every owner is a multi-katrillionaire, and could buy and sell NBA teams with pocket change.  This isn’t MLB where owners might not be as rich, but are extremely deep in “old” money.   This is the NBA where sometimes two and three groups of people have to come together and sacrifice everything they have to buy a franchise.  And what for?  So a bunch of untrained, uneducated classless shmucks can want and want and want every last dime that is out there for the taking?  Hey LeBron, remember when you were about 9 or 10, you know probably the last time you actually gave a shit about the game I love.  Remember when you used to go down to the park and play ball in the summertime?   And sometimes some community group would put a tent up, and maybe sell pop or hot dogs once in a while?  They still do that till this day you know, you should head back there every so often.  Try and remember why you play this game in the first place.  Oh, and hey, if you do actually do that, and there happens to be a tent in the park, selling whatever they are selling, can you do me a favour, go around the side of it, pull out one of those long metal stakes that’s holding the tent down, and screw yourself long and hard in the ear, you greedy miserable heartless puke of a prick.