As the leaves start to change colour, the days get shorter, and the nights get colder, about a million and one thoughts tear through my mind at once. It happens every year at about this time. Primarily because historically some of the worst events in my life have taken place in the Autumn. It’s a constant that I’ve both learned to except, and try my best to prepare for on a yearly basis. There’s really no rhyme nor reason for it, it just seems to work out like that. Or maybe the same amounts of bad tend to happen, but is amplified by the pre-fore mentioned cold, and slowly diminishing sunlight? Whatever the case, it’s in the air, and as Phil once sang, I can feel it coming.
The textbook definition of nostalgia is as follows. A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life; A sentimental yearning for a former place or time, home, homeland or experience; to languish the return of past circumstances, events and or emotions.So basically, it’s the past haunting you. But what triggers it? It could be a certain smell, a particular temperature or specific climate, like that of a cold rain, or a warm snowfall. All these are available in abundance in the fall. But let’s look at what makes this time of year slightly more neurotic than most other seasons. First and foremost it marks the impending arrival of Winter, which is solemn enough in its own. You can almost start to feel your back hurting just thinking about the snow. The thought of the extended time it takes to just drive around the corner, let alone the commute to work certainly doesn’t bring any smiles to any ones face. And of course there’s Seasonal Affective Disorder, where the lack of exposure to sunlight directly affects ones susceptibility to stress and or illness, and its effect on our circadian rhythms, resulting in anywhere from minor to moderate depression.
Of course this season also ushers in quite possibly the worst Holiday of the year. I personally despise Thanksgiving for two basic reasons. One, it’s nothing more than the celebration of rape and pillage, as our forefathers, who, growing tired of their own home countries governing bodies, policies and practises decided it was not only their desire, but right to infiltrate an already occupied but considered new by old world standards continent, with the understanding that they could create a new society that could be built without the scrutiny and exploitive influence of political bias. Fast forward a couple hundred years and you can see how well that turned out. It almost makes you proud to be a White Anglo Saxon Protestant, doesn’t it? The second reason I despise Thanksgiving is because turkey and pumpkins are the least best tasting of meat and fruit you could possibly plate. There is quite a discrepancy in the complication factors from point one and point two, but it’s rather hard to argue either one. Now if you’re in the percentage of thinking, and by that I mean naivety, that accepts Thanksgiving as nothing more than a reason to celebrate with family and friends, and take a day off to eat drink and be merry, such as Christmas and Easter have essentially become, than I applaud you. This is the Western Hemisphere, and that’s how we roll. Historical events be damned.
The third season also demands that you make and take time out, to clean out the closet. Gone are the tank tops, shorts and tee shirts, to be replaced by long pants, sweaters and cumbersome winter jackets. If the lack of comfort and breathability, as far as clothing goes, isn’t enough to slow you down and make you grimace, remember this, it’s going to be a few months before you see the beautiful woman walking around in the clothing they must spend a fair amount of time packing up very soon, as well. No short shorts, no tight tee’s and although you’ll still catch them here and there, those, should be award winning, Lu Lu lemon pants will become moderately scarce. Little tattoo’s peeking out above exposed panties over low riding shorts hibernate, and even the smiles that could stop traffic become non- existent, replaced instead by frowns that scream “I need better weather now, I can’t take this shit”. Between the cold, the dark, the mental disorders, extra clothing, lack of smiles on beautiful women, and my own historical lows during this time of year, it’s really no wonder I don’t exactly get amped up come October. Infact, truth be told, I can only remember one rather exceptional October, and that took place back in 2006. It will stand as one of the greatest highs of my entire life, something I will both remember and cherish, potentially for the rest of my duration here. But sadly this will be my 33rd fall, and 1 for 33 doesn’t exactly get you an endorsement deal by any stretch of the imagination. Remember what the late Roger Hornsby said, when asked what he does when the Summer ends. “I sit and stare out the window and wait for Spring”. That’s a pretty good idea I think I may try that. But I better get started, the leaves are changing colour, the nights are getting colder, and I can definitely feel it coming in the air……….
