It’s happening again, isn’t it? I knew it was about that time, I could just feel it in the way you’ve been acting lately. Why do we insist on going through this travesty of ours time and time again? It’s been happening as long as I can recall and to be honest, I’m not sure I like it one bit. Although I suppose you can’t be blamed, you’ve never promised me forever now have you? But this on again off again thing is getting to be unbearable. You waltz into my life, regardless of whom I’m with or what I’m doing, make me feel like a king for a brief period of time, and before I know it you leave again, sometimes without even saying goodbye. We go from nothing to full time to semi part time, until one day I wake up and realize I haven’t seen or heard from you in however long, and just like that it hits me, you’re gone. When will I see you again? I don’t know. I know I will, but when is completely up to you. There’s nothing I can do but be patient I suppose. You’ll come back, you always do. You have for as far back as I can remember. And of course I’ll welcome you with open arms, as I have done for practically forever, until it’s time to repeat, and go through this all over again. Such a horrible painful routine, but there’s nothing I can do about it, it’s the way it is, has been, and apparently always will be, regardless if I like it or not.
I know the only thing you want from me is appreciation, and believe me, I try. But you have to understand, it’s hard. I’d love nothing more than to dedicate every minute of every day to you and nothing else. But the reality of it all is I do have a job that takes up 8 to 9 hours of my every day. By the time you factor in the commute, we are looking at about 10 hours altogether. The gym daily is another 2 hours, even though you tell me all the time to skip the gym, and just take a walk with you and enjoy our time together, as if you know exactly when that time is going to be up, and from time to time I do that for you gladly, but I unfortunately can’t do it every day. Mix in about 7 hours or so for sleep, although sometimes you make it so hot, that gets downgraded to about 4 or 5, and before you know it I only have a handful of hours left to myself. In that time I have to shower, cook, eat, drink coffee (which for the record always tastes a little bit better when I’m drinking it with you), tidy up, get caught up on the news and sports of the world and do whatever errands I may have to do. Whatever is left over I try to bide equally with you, but I know that’s just not enough, is it? We have talked many, many times before about relocating somewhere that you and I can be together forever, but that’s just not as easy as it sounds. Albeit I would love that more than I would love anything else in this world, right now it’s just not feasible. What a life it would be though. I think about it all the time. I think about how you make everything better just by being present. I think about how much more I enjoy things not necessarily because of you, but just because you’re there. Little things like how clean I try and keep the car, or how I always want the windows open just to enjoy the breeze that you somehow make better. Or how music turned up real loud sounds better when it’s shared with you. Long walks with nothing but a coffee or a soda or an ice cream and us. A patio isn’t even the same without you. Every facet of my life you improve, just by being there, and I love that. Hell, you can take my favorite thing in this entire world, baseball on the radio, and I probably wouldn’t even enjoy it without you. How I get by after you leave is no secret, I just keep my chin up, truck through my days, and wait patiently until you come back. You always do. You have for as far back as I can remember. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but always. Eventually. I Love You,
Dear Summer...............................
