Lets Take A Couple People Out Back, Shall We??

This shit has got to stop, and it’s got to stop soon.  This Rob Ford vs. Karen Stintz vs. the kid that works at Harvey’s vs. anyone who happens to walk in the room crap is getting out of control and is just downright deplorable.  They do know they are representing a city right?  That they are elected officials?  That they have obligations and responsibilities to attend to?  I don’t believe that they do, because every time you turn on the news you kind of get the impression that you are watching an episode of “Romper Room” gone bad.  In fact, I’ve been at parks where 7 and 8 year olds can more democratically figure out who’s “it”.  Rob, you’re the Mayor, we know this.  Every time you open up your disgusting donut whole you remind us of that point.  So act like a fucking Mayor for once in your (hopefully only) term, and think about the betterment of the ENTIRE city.  Not just some businessmen you may have circle jerked with in a drunken and high stupor a few years back.  Scarborough needs a subway extension like I need bigger nuts.  And let me tell you, I have absolutely no use for larger testicles.  A larger penis would be great, but that’s another post altogether.  And to the rest of council; I know, I know, your lead by a buffoon.  But come on.  The mockery that was the firing of Gary Webster, followed by the “Coup” to overrule “Bubba” does nothing except show you’re all no better than he is.  Forming clique’s, and coming up with plans and secret meetings are best left for the cast of “Big Brother”, and are not conducive to members of city hall.  Now, I’m not naïve by any stretch of the imagination.  I know that since there has BEEN politics there has been back stabbing and shady practice IN politics.  But here’s also what I know for a fact.  Keep it out of the God damn news.  Keep it behind closed doors, in washrooms, in bars, at the back of the establishment late at night.  You want to know what that does?  It makes you look like you actually have some fucking class and etiquette, and you may actually look like you have a mind of your own for once, instead of just hiding behind who is hot and rising (and by that I mean, who has made the most promises to other people of which they are directly rewarded of course).  Hell, some of you children may actually get re-elected if you try that, but as it stands right now, not one of these morons deserves to be on council for the duration of their term, let alone, GASP, another one.  I’m pretty sure I speak for a lot of rational decent minded people when I say this, at this point, it doesn’t really matter.  Plan for subways, plan for LRT’s, set up whatever it is you want to set up, because there isn’t a single person out there who believes anything is actually getting built with this administration anyway.  Maybe the next class of self-indulgent, personal advantage capitalists, re: politicians, will figure something out, and get something done.  I doubt it, but one can hope.  The truth is, and say what you will about him, David Miller had transit in this city ready to roll, planned and pretty much all paid for when he stepped out the door.  And regardless if you agree with what was planned and ready to be executed, you can’t protest the fact that a plan in motion with funding taken care of, is better than “Doughboy” and the cast of merry men reenacting scenes from General Hospital on the back of the very tax dollars of the people they are embarrassing with every single stupid statement they manage to read out loud.

Hey, here’s a question for you, where’s Dalton McGuinty in all of this?  Why hasn’t he stepped in and said “That’s enough, everyone go home, I’m running this ship until we find some people who actually value and respect their positions around here”.  I mean this has got to be embarrassing for him as well.  Do you think the other Provincial Premiers make fun of him at their bowling outings and picnics?  “Hey Dalton, your capital sure has their shit together, heckle heckle heckle”…..”Hey Dalton, who’s the “Big Guy” got on the verge of striking this month”?  I bet even Stephen Harper, in all his professionalism, can’t help but forward each and every BBM pic he comes across dealing with incompetence Daltons way.  Does the Premier have to keep such a watchful eye on Jim Watson, the Mayor of Ottawa?  Does he have to babysit and weigh in on their “somehow ridiculously difficult but shouldn’t really be” transit issues?  (And I’m only discussing transit here, obviously because that’s all that directly affects me, but rest assured “The Big Slice” has gaggle screwed everyone in the city from garbage collectors to firemen, and even sweet old librarians as well for Christ’s sake).  I bet he doesn’t, and who wants to know why?  Because that city didn’t fall for the premise of an “everyday regular guy” running for their Mayor.  That’s why.  And I’m not holding the people of Toronto that voted for Ford responsible for this either, because as I said once before, it really was a noble effort, and no one could have possibly scene this coming.  I don’t think in the history of bureaucracy anyone elected has actually been this horrible at what they did.  If I wasn’t caught up in it personally, I would find it terribly humorous myself.  I wonder if people over in Europe and Japan read the international news, and laugh their asses off at the “jimmy rig” that is Toronto’s political environment.  If I were one of them, I’d say to myself, “Man, that’s all they have to offer in the way of news out of Toronto?  That’s kind of funny, but at the same time kind of depressing”. 

Here’s what I would suggest, if of course I was the kind of guy to offer my 2 cents in places where my 2 cents aren’t required. 

Council;  Think for yourselves, vote on what you believe and don’t get caught up in high school drama like the bunch of followers you are starting to really look like.  You are in the positions you are in because you are supposed to be leaders.  So lead.  It’s that simple. 

And for our beloved Mayor; Shut the dog fuck up. Think before you speak.  Whoever your handlers are, they’re horrible at their jobs.  Seriously, if Toronto’s council votes favorably for something, anything for that matter, don’t go on radio the next day and say, “Whatever, I’m going to do what I want to do anyway, because I’m the Mayor”, (it’s a paraphrase but not by much).  That’s about a par 3 away from being a Dictatorship, and although I’m not going to bother looking it up to be 100% sure, I’m pretty positive that shit’s not allowed over here. 
Oh, and one more thing.  Why is it that every Monday, when I turn on the news, I have to see your dump truck of a body getting on a scale and weighing in with your equally robust brother?  Seriously, on a Monday morning no one downtown has anything better to do than to assemble a cast of cameras and reporters and watch two fat guys weigh themselves?  That shit is downright hilarious.  Your fat, you know it, we know it, and guess what, some of us, myself included, could stand to lose a few pounds too, but do it on your own god damn time, and don’t think for a second that anyone with a Loonie in their pocket gives a shit what you weigh when your city is in the fucking mess that it is in.  Get off the scale, get back to work (for a change) and stay off my god damn T.V. until you can come up with something to say that actually deserves to be heard……

God I hate those fucking people.  Hey, would you like to know who else I hate?  I hate Bryan “I’m the worst G.M. the sports world has ever met” Colangelo.  It’s clear he’s doing one of two things.  He’s either A) Trying to personally insult my intelligence as a basketball fan, or B) He lost a bet somewhere down the line and now has to assemble the worst team the NBA has ever scene.  Or maybe he’s not TRYING to do either of those things, but he is definitely DOING both of those things by fielding the team that he currently fields and not taking any steps towards making this team any better in the immediate, or for that matter, the distant future.  Last week at the trade deadline he dealt our (not so) arguably best player for a second round draft pick next year.  Do you have any idea what caliber of player you get in the second round of an NBA draft?  You basically get me.  Now, don’t get it twisted, I was a pretty damn decent baller in my prime, probably one of the best players most of you will ever meet.  But I’m not wrecking shop in the league now am I?  I was curious earlier today so I did some research and tried to come up with who I thought was the best player the Raptors ever selected in the second.  In my opinion, and for all intents and purposes, the only opinion that matters, the best pick they have had there historically was……..    JIMMY KING.   Now, if you’re not familiar with Jimmy King, don’t feel bad, because he’s actually the answer to a trivia question no one not named Brad, ever gets right.  Jimmy King was the fifth member of the fabled Michigan Wolverines “Fab Five”, and in college he was “ahhhhhhhh” at best.  In the NBA however, he averaged 4.5 points per game over an illustrious 2 season career where he played in a total of 64 contests.  So Mr. Colangelo essentially traded Leandro Barbosa, the only real determined talent ( I say determined talent because obviously Derozan, Bargnani and whomever else you want to point to right now has talent, yet no determination) for a player that probably will never be nearly as good as our best second rounder, Jimmy King.  Can someone, anyone, please tell me how Bryan Colangelo got re-upped on his contract?  He’s making a mockery out of my home team and I don’t like it one bit.  With every move he makes it seems only one thing is clear, he’s not trying to win.  Hell, he’s not even trying to lose.  He’s trying to lose at a clip that has previously never been experienced at a professional level.  I called what?  22 wins for the Raps this season?  Does anyone remember?  It was 20 or 22… anyway, what does it matter, I have yet to even watch half a Raptors game thus far, and those that know me, know that’s unfathomable.

Anyway, I only have 100 words or so left, so let us end this week on a funny note shall we. 

Meet this guy……

He got on my bus about 11:00pm-ish on St Patrick’s Day.  Between that time and 3 am when backup had to come and drag him off, he assumed this position……

I’ll leave it up to your imagination to figure out what kind of chaotic fun a few regular passengers and I had with him, but let’s just say, a few souvenir pictures were taken, some funny one liners were dropped, and some overall good hearted fun was had….   Enough said.

Hopefully I’ll see you all back here next week, and in the event that I don’t make it in, just assume the weather was great, she was cute, and love was made………….........  Until next time…………………..